Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Day 15: Kristina Laptop is my name.

I have this problem.


The problem is that I am too lazy to go get my car stereo installed, so I listen to a lot of radio on my commute to and from work because I have no auxiliary input in which to plug my ipod.

I'm not going to pretend there isn't a fair amount of music on the radio that I actually like, because there is. I love my Katy Perry and my Panic at the Disco, I'll admit it. But sometimes, there are songs I don't like. There are songs I really, really don't like. And SOMETIMES these songs are cleverly disguised as catchy fun tunes but if you take a moment to actually listen to the lyrics (which I usually do, as I am a lyricist) you would be appalled.

Well, maybe you wouldn't. But I was.

Today's Bad lyrics of the Day are:
"I like you so much better when you're naked. I like me so much better when you're naked."

This was the chorus, just repeated over and over. I don't think I even need to break this down for anyone to explain why this is so stupid, but I'll just say it. How would someone else being naked affect how you feel about yourself? It just makes so little sense ahhh. I don't understand why it needed to be written in a song. Sometimes when I get struck with an idea, I think "hm. Should I write about this in my blog? Twitter it? Make a video about it? Write a song about it?" The artist of this song should just just sent it in a text message to their boyfriend and moved on with her life.

If you follow me on twitter you'll have already heard me complain about these before, but for the rest of you, here are some of my favorite horrible/offensive/stupid lyric finds from the past year or so:

"Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

"Don't even know your name, so I will call you 'Medicine', you can ease my pain."

Just... gah.

In other news, I'm at work and the last person I talked to on the phone had the last name "Inkpen". That's SO COOL. I want that last name. It's so defining. It would be like having the name "Kristina Laptop" or "Kristina YouTube" or something. Ha.


All I have left to say is that if all I could eat for the rest of my life was Jamba Juice, pistacios, Chipotle burritos and Cinnamon Bun ice cream... well, I may not be healthy, but I'd be happy.

Today's Word: Enoid
The act of being annoyed with someone over the internet.
(Example: "And he just kept IMing me. I was so e-noid.") -Raven Zoe

Status on the Office: Season 4, Episode 13

Subscribers: 17,498

23 comments:

erin meagan said...

those lyrics are horrid.

aimée-louise said...

aha, i'm wondering how far back the surname 'inkpen' goes...
i hope it was before any kind of ink pen ever existed, how revolutionary.
maybe ;]

kisses.
xax

Kelly said...

...do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips?

Really? Wow.

Ugh. People these days.

Jordiekins said...

bedoome: an expression of death for a nerdfighter.

"I'm Bedoomdoomdoomed!"

seurat2 said...

That song is by Ida Maria. And I like her album, altho granted that isn't anywhere near the best song on it. Oh well, I'm sure I wouldn't like all the music you listen to either.

Frabble- Scrabble as played by frat boys. You don't want to know the rule changes.

Dee said...

Don't write Ida Maria off just yet! She also wrote this:
"and i wish you dare to walk up to me
and i wish you had the courage, the bright eyes to see
and i wish i could pretend i'm not alone
and i wish i could defend everyone"
which does not have any naked people in it. I think. :-)

ElizaWriter said...

I think someone needs to start a banned lyrics list.

sarahlynch said...

Oh, geez. Almost all the popular music these days just fails. It's pathetic that you have to be that disgusting and stupid to have a popular song.

hayleyghoover said...

I just love how clearly I can hear your natural speaking voice in your writing.

Raven Zoe said...

Jordiekins' word verification today made me do one of those really loud, cackle laughs that are terrible to hear. According to my roommate, anyway.

"I'm Bedoomdoomdoomed!"

hahaha still funny.

alexis julian. said...

You know how couples/friends/etc pick up words or phrases or mannerisms of the other? You have TOTALLY picked up Alex' "ahh" that he throws into language. It's not cute, haha, I just thought I'd give you the heads up! By that I mean it doesn't make a person sound very intelligent to just burst out into a frustrated "ahhhh". Um, yeah? This comment is written with love. Ok bye.

Mr. Writer said...

I was listening to the All-American Rejects song Damn Girl (it's off their new album) on the way to work the other day. I was happily humming along and trying to decipher the lyrics, which I usually do when I first hear a song. And I came across this lyric:

"When he's inside you, no there's no room for me"

It made me sick to my stomach, and it was such a good song!

partyweetow said...

I keep hearing about these Chipotle burritos that are so good, yet I've never even BEEN to a Chipotle. I don't even know where one is around here.

CRUNKRacoon said...

I wish I had an inventive surname as well. I'd much rather have Horner than Hernandez. At least Horner is unique. :)

Word Verification: Eralag
The slowing down of a time travel vortex due to excessive years jumped.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

Wost lyric, "A cornucopia of warm fallopia." D:

Someone on DailyBooth was looking for people to do a survey about internet use. Several of the questions asked for your ratio of how many people on your friends list you "actually know".

It made think of your "my place" video and about what it means to "actually know" someone and kind of ticked me off.

So I said that I "actually know" all of the people on my friends lists, how well I know them varies but I wasn't going to discriminate against people just because I hadn't stood in the same room as them.

Beedina: The technical term for accidentally swallowing a bug.

Jackieh :] said...

I actually like the song Don't Trust Me. Actually I like all of 3OH!3's stuff even if it's completely offensive.
:)
literally soulja boy has a song in which all he says is "do the stanky leg".
that's not a joke.

the_who_ru said...

I'm not even going to try and compete with the "Bedoomdoomdoomed". That's just too good. You have to pick that one.

Chelsea said...

My word is Exstrawpulation: the phenomenon that a straw will not stay down in your glass of soda.

Exhausted College Student said...

Despite how stupid the 3Oh!3 lyrics are, I still can't help but sing along. It's such a catchy tune. I have no idea how Helen keller spoke with her hips, but I'm willing to belt it out at the top of my lungs.

Ever heard the stanky leg song. Wow.

goddess-of-ice said...

I kind of like the naked lyrics. I don't know what song it is, but I can kind of understand the emotion behind it...I don't really know how to explain it without sounding like a slutz...but yeah...

impossible-things.com said...

Despite the obvious offensive nature of the lyric, I've always found the "Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips" line to be rather clever and catchy. Though it's something that in principle seems wrong, sometimes I'll throw PC out the window for a catchy tune, which I think the song is. It is true that the world is filled with stupid, stupid lyrics/songs, but I will give credit for originality where it's due :)

Joy said...

Ahhh I looked up that song to see what it sounded like, and now I have the chorus stuck in my head... Bad times! haha.

My own fault for satisfying my curiosity I suppose!

Cami said...

those lyrics are made by a norwegian singer, and we're not the best lyricists tbh (just look at the chorus lines for Take On Me or Barbie Girl)