Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Day 14: Ice Torture.

My childbirth class yesterday was AMAZING. I have never had as much fun at school as I am having in this one class.

So in class today, we had this guest speaker come in, and she brought ALL sorts props and toys and visual things to teach us about labor. I am going to reiterate that this is a class full of non-pregnant people who just want to learn about the beauty of childbirth (we have two moms and a boy in the class now too! exciting!). Anyway, first we watch this movie on the stages of labor and learn a fair amount about contractions. THEN she comes around and hands each of us a stack of paper towels and a pile of ice cubes. We're just looking at her like "why do we need these icecubes?" and she gets this devious grin on her face and says "We're going to simulate contractions via ice torture."


So we had to pick up a handful of ice and squeeze it in our hand tightly for an ENTIRE MINUTE, suffering the pain and burning that naturally happens when you hold ice cubes in your bare hand. It was terrible and everyone was squirming, biting their lips, making little moaning noises.. and then she said "Okay contraction over!" so we all dropped the ice and shoved our freezing red hands in our pockets to warm them up. She let us rest for a few minutes, and then said "Contraction started!" and we had to pick the ice up again, but this time we dimmed the lights and focused on our breathing. It was a little better, but still hurt really badly. Afterwards she told us we'd gone for a minute and a half that time.

We repeated this 5 more times, next using a specific breathing pattern, then standing and dancing around the room to rock music, smelling soothing essential oils, and eating chocolate.

These are of course all methods of calming women in labor, but the point was that the pain should have felt the same each time but with the distractions it became more bearable and tolerable.

I thought I was one of the biggest wimps to walk the face of this planet, but I can hold a fistful of ice like a pro. It's a lot harder than it sounds. Try it. Go hold some ice clenched in your fist and tell me how long you last.

Then we watched another video of live births, which I'd never seen before, and right away it kind of freaked me out but by the end I was able to watch without flinching or anything, and the bell rang to tell us class was over but everyone stayed 10 or so minutes later to finish the film.

Ahhh it's just awesome. I like it so much.
I feel like I am actually learning something really useful and fascinating. Even though I don't plan to have kids for years and years, I love that I am preparing myself now. Plus it's just beautiful and interesting.

ANYWAY, now to talk about things that aren't childbirth...

I would estimate that the new Parselmouth album is about 1/3 done. I am very, very excited but also exhausted because recording as much as I have been the last 3-4 days takes a lot out of you. It's fun work though. My favorite kind of work. I'd rather record TEN songs than write another paper on Rousseau.

My computer was just telling me with a mean red underline that "Parselmouth" wasn't a word. That's being fixed right now. I think it's hilarious how many words I have to add to my dictionary when I get a new computer. "Kristina" isn't ever a word, or "Parselmouth", or "Issaquah" which is the town I work in... "Draco" is underlined, "vlog" is underlined... it makes me feel like I am living in some made up world that my computer refuses to acknowledge as real unless I force it to accept my words.

Surprisingly though, it recognizes "blog". Yay BEDA!

I didn't even start my laundry yesterday, I feel I need to own up to that since I said in my blog yesterday that I planned to do it. I'm bad.

Funny conversation of the day:

Hannah: im going to azkatraz
Me: Me too!
Hannah: are you playing?
Me: Yeah. Not the cruise thing but after the ball.
Hannah: ohh cool
Hannah: whats the cruise thing?
Me: The big show.
Hannah: its on a boat?
Me: and, its going fast and, it's got a nautical themed pashmina afghan.
Hannah: Hahhaha

Today's Word: Joyapole
Being happy about a pole (or a tall person). -Jordiekins

Status on the Office: Season 4, Episode 7

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A said...

I am a not a joyapole, then. I am a pole, but not a joyful one. I am 6'0" and 15 years old. (To be fair, I was this height at 14 as well.)

I'm on a dolphin doin' flips n shit.

My word verification is "kings." I think that's a ripoff.

janitorbud said...

at my old job, we had an ice bucket. on slow days, when we knew we weren't going to need the melted ice and little cubes that were left over, we had contests to see who could last the longest with their hand in the ice. i owned.
both my first and last names aren't recognized. my first name is Dyan. it's NEVER recognized. the computers always want to correct it and put Dylan...substitute teachers call me Dylan. or new teachers. it's annoying.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Next to your blog is this advertisement:

Ice Cubes & Crushed Ice
London's Ice Cubes Specialist Express Delivery
020 7720 4883


Perhaps business will go up now people know how to simulate contractions :P

Skinses -

The surface of Gollum's body in LOTR

lanna-lovely said...

Gah, holding ice cubes is torture!

Word verification: Manomedi
Definition: The word used to describe the kind of happy you are when a boy you like makes you feel better (like happy pills of the boy variety!). Opposite of "manthrax", where a boy you like makes you feel like crap.
Kristina: I was having a bad day but then I talked to Alex and it made me feel better.
John Green: Manomedi ftw!
(because, uh, examples are just more awesome when John Green is in them? Yes, that makes sense)

*fails* :]

Raven Zoe said...


Enoid; the act of being annoyed with someone over the internet. (Example: "And he just kept IMing me. I was so e-noid.")

haha that was lame.

Anonymous said...

The Lonely Island reference for the win!

Heather Rodriguez said...

Ha! I've birthed 6 babies and *I* cannot hold ice in my hand for more than a couple seconds! I am queen weenie!!

Redcabbageispurple said...

I'm allergic to cold (seriously, I break out in hives.)
word verification: Sithjam: what the jedi's on the "dark side" listen to when no one is looking.

Indigo said...

i did it for 5 min. before the ice melted. I feel proud >_<

fibera-fiber that only femals can digest

MoreBobby said...

I don't know if you've listened to any of the older Vaguely Live Radio episodes, but it seem like you haven't: if you had, you would know that Alex hates children and does not intend to have any offspring, so you are kind of wasting your time and possibly scaring your poor boyfriend by talking about childbirth all the time.

During VLR he also actually said the most selfish thing I have ever heard anyone say, and that was that he doesn't care about the state of the world and global warming and the future of humanity because it would be "our children's problem" and "he doesn't plan to have children so he doesn't care".

Maybe he's changed his opinions since getting with you, I don't know. But I thought I should warn you.

Christy said...

smurfed-a disease in which someone becomes small and turns blue.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep shrinking and my skin is turning blue!"

"You've been smurfed, my friend."

Anonymous said...

I hate those red squiggles sometimes. But they do save me from looking like a complete idiot.

"Gammoo": The various sounds Michael Gambon emits when he is attempting to impersonate a cow.

[morgan.] said...

hahaha, that "on a boat" conversation pretty much made my day.

Jordiekins said...

yogel: eating a bagel while yodeling

Yes! I've done it twice now. You have made my month.

hayleyghoover said...

People always make fun of me because I am obsessed with pregnancy and childbirth. I read books about it for fun. I get jealous when I see pregnant women. I am a crazed, fertile baby-making machine, and I can't stand that I have to wait a few more years.

demint: Exhaling heavily because the mint you were eating made your mouth too cold.

Adam said...

i had such an amazing word idea!


Of or relating to strange dreams about kidneys.

MoreBobby said...

Hey! Alex replied to me in his diary! Well I can't respond to him, because he doesn't have a commenty bit, but if you're reading this Alex, you didn't talk about my first paragraph at all about you not wanting children!

Oh, and mamotion (genuine word verification) - a Jamaican man's movement.

Elizabeth... said...

I found it hard enough to hold a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel when I broke me arm (they thought it was just sprained, silly school nurses) I commend you on your ability to hold ice in your bare hand.

The word of today is "nophoup" - it's the way Stewie Griffin pronounces a certain brand of constipation product.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

Why did I do that? Ice hurts!

Your going to be one of those "local hero" people on the news one day when you deliver a baby in an elevator or something. :)

Caliting: A Californian support group for people who tingle.

Manda said...

Hey Kristina :-) My sister just had a baby... and I think she could have done with this class prior to the experience... judging by the pain she went through and the fact that she didn't know how to deal with it! I felt so helpless trying to suggest all these things that just seem plain inappropriate in the moment.

Anyway... my word is "prosio" i don't know what it means but perhaps it is a spell. "PROSIO!" and BAM you are a pro at something...

Joy said...

You're word of the day makes me happy. Why? Because it has my name in it :D Okay I fangirled a little bit at the slight mention of my name even though it had nothing to do with me or the name. Anywho, now you know the effect you have on me.

Seagull said...

Funny conversation of the Day = EPIC WIN! xD

Also, what are the rules of the zombie game? It sounds like fun.

whatzedeuce said...

I'm a bit behind in your BEDA..

But I must say, I had no idea you commute to work over here in Issaquah! Such a fun little town.