Monday, August 29, 2011

BEDA 29: Grasshoppers.

I might actually be too tired/burnt out to blog tonight. I was going so strong this month, too.

Here. I will just leave you with this short anecdote from last night at the musical that I forgot to put in yesterday's blog post, and then I will catch up on the rest of today... in tomorrow's blog post. What. I make the rules around here.

So, I was thinking about blogging this all night on the drive home last night, but then I got too caught up in my emotional musings about North Dakota to remember when it came to actually typing it up. It's a big deal, because last night I developed an irrational fear of grasshoppers.

We got to sit in the special handicap seating area during the show because of my grandma, but what that meant (aside from having pretty good seats) was that there was a lot of room on the side of me (unlike the other auditorium style seats). Mid way through the show I felt something hit my head and I smacked it away... when I looked down at the concrete floor to see what it was, I saw the largest effing grasshopper I have ever seen in my whole life. Like, past insect and into monster-status. Huge. Like 6 inches long.

For the next five to ten minutes, I honestly couldn't tell you what was happening during the musical because my eyes were locked on that dumb creature. It was inching closer and closer to my seat and I was too afraid to kick it away or anything because there was this tiny piece of me that feared it might go all Shocker on Shock Street on us. Finally, finally it crawled out of sight and I was able to relax enough to start enjoying the show again.

This was a false sense of security though, because not ten minutes later I looked over and there it was again, sitting on the ledge between our seats and the seats down a tier below us, just watching me. I kind of freaked out a little bit; I tugged my dad's sleeve and hissed, "get that thing away from me!"

Being a loving and courageous father, he flicked it in the opposite direction - which was great, until we realized the multitude of people's heads he'd just sent the volatile creature careening toward. Eyes wide; we glanced at each other guiltily, glanced down, then slouched in our seats as far as we could go. "Don't look over the edge," my dad told me, suppressing a laugh. "I think I just saw an old lady flailing at her hair."

So, yeah. We're bad people. Funny, yes, but bad people.

Flights taken: 21

14 comments:

Steph said...

Fear of any bug is perfectly rational. They have to many legs and are creepy. Great story though! :)
(haha the word verification is hompests, what a coincidence)

Cat said...

Haha, I completely understand your fear. The fact that a creature can jump at you at any time is kind of a frightening concept. Like tonight! I came home with a bug in my hair that I couldn't even identify. Didn't even realize it was there until the thing jumped off onto my bed!! Ah.. I really hate bugs.

badbob001 said...

Imagine yourself as a four year old, happily sleeping on a bamboo mat on a warm night. Peaceful. Until a two-inch roach crawls on top of a large mound, takes a moment to survey the land, is unaware that the before mentioned mound is your head, frozen in fright, and then climbs off to go its merry way. This is Macau, where there are so many bugs that Geckos are normally crawling on the walls hunting them.

To this day, I hate bugs.

Julianne said...

One time I was brushing my teeth early in the morning and a lizard fell from the ceiling onto the top of my head. It was kind of scary first thing in the morning.

aditi920 said...

Once in India I was taking a shower and a cockroach the size of a salamander started crawling across the floor right towards me. Panicking, I started running around the small bathroom screaming bloody murder before my parents/extended family rushed to the door wondering what was happening. I started haphazardly pulling on clothes while trying to avoid this roach which was literally following me as I was running around the cramped bathroom. I finally got out and refused to go back in till it was caught and returned to the wild.
Bugs are the worst.

Amy said...

I understand. I have an irrational fear of some insects too. In fact I have Lepidopterophobia. So I am afraid of butterflies, moths, and dragonflies. My family makes fun of me all the time about it. So when Hank Green made that butterfly video it was so nice to read the comments and see all the other crazy people who are scared of them too. I also don’t do well with grasshoppers! :)

Kendall said...

Bugs of any kind tend to freak me out. One time I saw a cockroach in my kitchen and screamed so loud it woke my sister up. Not my finest moment...but there you have it. :)

I'm not unique, I'm Monique said...

I would have totally just flipped sh*t right then and there. But I am just sitting in my living room giggling, trying not to wake up the parental units, at the picture in my head of you having a stare off with this grasshopper.

Elizabeth Haebig said...

My little sister was sitting outside and she felt a leaf beneath her foot so she stepped on it to crush it. It was super crunchy she told me but, when she looked down it wasn't a leaf it was a predead grasshopper!! And on top of that, she was barefooted.

Love, Chelsea said...

De-lurking out of the shadows to tell you that I just laughed SO HARD. Thanks.

Jane said...

I'm so completely terrified of grasshoppers. Just reading this story gave me chills. At least where I live they don't get much bigger than, like, 3 inches!

Manar said...

Hahahahaha!

Kari Kristine said...

Blinking rapidly one moment (reading Day 28) and laughing out loud to myself alone in my room the next! Haha, so awesome :D

Herbs said...

That is a funny story, I also despite those bugs, they are ugly and nasty looking.
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