Having the most emotional of emotional days.
The trip I was going on (to Nashville, for the secret thing) ended up not happening. I was supposed to be flying there standby yesterday morning, and the flight looked open pretty much right up until I went to the airport. Then after an hour and a half of stressfully playing the waiting game, I got bumped. Simple as that. So here I am, still in Seattle, disappointed and distressed but trying trying not to dwell on it.
I still can't say why I was going, as there is a slight chance I could still... do it... You know, I'm just going to stop talking about it because it's unfair to be so secretive. Basically I'm not in Nashville, is the point of this whole thing, and it's hugely disappointing.
Because of my airline misfortunes I really had no time to read Mockingjay yesterday, so I've spent a large chunk of today lying in bed and reading. The internet has been kind to Hunger Games fans and thankfully I haven't been spoiled, as I am only halfway through.
It's hard to formulate thoughts about the book right now, because my head is such a jumbled mess of everything happening to these characters. I love the book, I hate the book, I have to just continue reading to keep from crying or throwing it or stopping reading altogether. I don't think I have ever read such an emotionally charged work of literature, or something with the ability to make me so uncomfortable, or to hate the human race so much. And that's saying something, as I've read a whole arsenal of books set in a post-apocalyptic dystopian future meant to comment on the worthlessness of how we live our lives.
I've only stopped reading a few times, during which I have heard the news about the beautiful, inspirational Esther Earl passing away last night. Charged with the emotions of Mockingjay and getting bumped from my flight yesterday, I'll admit I lost it for a second. It's unfortunate that such an ugly, horrible disease could take someone so good and pure and brave from this world. And knowing that an entire community of people who never knew this little girl personally are mourning her together today; it's enough to make even the toughest person a little weepy.
So I'm having one of those days. I'm reading a reading a life-alteringly amazing (though brutally emotional) book, mourning the loss of a incredibly strong and inspiring nerdfighter, and wishing I was in Nashville like I've been planning for the last week. I'll see you tomorrow.
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when i grow up i wanna be
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