Sunday, August 8, 2010

Hate comments. And laundry.

I don't know what my problem is.

I have been home from tour for a considerable amount of time now, and I just can't bring myself to do laundry. I had planned on doing it Thursday, and then I put it off until Saturday, and then I put it off until today - it's to the point where I am on my very last pair of clean underwear, so I have to do it today. But I'd rather just stay in bed and work on the next ALL CAPS album and finish my re-read of the Hunger Games.

I enjoyed reading your pet peeves in the comments yesterday. There were things I'd never even considered getting annoyed about (like people who "push" on a door when it clearly says "pull", or teachers missing a spot while erasing the blackboard) but the common thread between most commenters was grammar. While I consider myself an intelligent girl who knows how to string her words together, I won't deny it made me a little nervous. Remind me never to blog while tired, because I had no idea I was writing in front of a bunch of grammar vultures. xD

On the agenda today, aside from the arduous task of doing my laundry (seriously, my hamper is exploding right now; it's delved beyond just a chore to the status of "an issue" at this point) I am finally going to see Eclipse in theatre (which I realize is laughable after my entry yesterday about only seeing Twilight movies for the rest of one's life. Now I'm seeing it by choice).

I waited so long to see this film that I actually had to track down a theatre that was still playing it. I do feel a little better about my decision to go, because I am a Regal Crown Club Member (which means I signed up for the little card thingy and they give me free stuff now and then, basically -- there's no reason NOT to be a Regal Crown Club Member) and when I went to see The Last Airbender last week, the lady in the box office informed me I had received a FREE movie ticket! I think I signed up for the card when I was 17 or something, so it only took 5 years to earn, too! Either way, I will not be paying to see Eclipse. I am pleased about this.


I was given a few more interesting blogging topics yesterday, so I think I am going to finish those up now as my laundry is being washed. One person asked me how I deal with haters.

This is an interesting topic, and my feelings on this have definitely changed over the years as I have adjusted more and more to putting my life out in the open. Haters used to really bother me, when I first started getting mean comments on videos. Obviously it's not a nice feeling to have someone tell you that you're ugly, or stupid, or that they didn't like your video.

A distinction you have to learn early on is that there is a difference between a hater comment and a genuinely mean/negative comment- the former is someone who is not invested in what you're doing at all, and leaves a fleeting, meaningless negative comment that in no way helps push society forward. These types of comments (ur gay, this is so stupid, I want those 2 mins of my life back, omg I hate autotune) have little to no effect on me. It's the comments from genuine subscribers/fans that hated your new video/haircut/boyfriend and they leave intelligent sounding comments telling you why you shouldn't try new things or ever make it apparent that you're making money or dating someone new; those are the comments that are harder to deal with.

You have to grapple with the issue that you put your life out there for people to see and to comment on, but at the end of the day you're still a human being with feelings and problems -- and having the general faceless public dissecting your every move, commenting on your appearance, telling you if a fan video is better than the original one your band worked hard on, or comparing your past and present love interests - these are difficult things for anyone to deal with, and you have to constantly remind yourself that many, many people out there don't think of you as someone with feelings who actually reads comments posted on videos. And you really can't get upset when people pick apart your life, because you made it readily available to them.

I think the biggest thing I've had to learn about haters is that you can't change them. The internet is a breeding ground for people to give their opinion - anonymity sets you free and all that. Giving any public reaction to getting a mean comment is only going to reflect badly on you - because that commenter is generally not going stick around to care what you have to say in response. Or if they do stick around, you're only giving them exactly what they want - a fiery public acknowledgment that proves you've allowed them to get under your skin. It also makes it very public that you can't handle criticism or even that you can't handle being in the public eye.

I think the best way to deal with this is to just be confident in everything you do. If I genuinely believe in the decisions I have made in my life, if I like every video I post, and I know I am living my life in a good way, then nothing anyone can say can really deter me from that mindset. People can debate about religion and music and whether or not someone used the right form of "their", but when it comes to my life, no one's opinion matters but my own.

So I ignore hate comments. Basically. I haven't really gotten fired up over a hater comment in a long time, so either it's a dry season, or I really am developing the think skin you need to be a YouTube vlogger.

I'd like to know what you think! Hate comments - do they rile you up or can you disregard them?

Last google search: Puzzle Quest
Chipotle burritos: 16

34 comments:

Maggie said...

As someone who posts videos that get very few views and even fewer comments, each one matters a lot to me. I have actually deleted a video because one of the comments was mean. I wasn't overly fond of the video anyway, but still.

I also see myself as a sensitive person. I WANT people to like me and think that what I do or say is cool

tec2030 said...

I figured this would be the most likely place to ask this where you would actually see it.

Why did you remove your "Down With Meekakitty" video on YouTube? It was so funny!

Justine said...

I'm a person who really does try and think about others, and doesn't like to insult others, I really don't like seeing them at all. It doesn't make sense that people could just comment without thinking that the person they are watching is actually real, with feelings...

I guess that's why it occurs, it's so easy to just insult someone on the Internet, you just have to type something in, and click, and it's published for everyone to see, it's not like going up to someone and saying it.

Jack said...

I don't post videos or have a blog, so I don't have any experience getting haters of my own- but it really does bother me when people I really enjoy watching on youtube- the 5AG, vlogbrothers, etc.- get hater comments. I feel like you guys work so much and then people don't even care, they just toss random mean comments at you.

As for people having opinions on your videos, it seems fair to let them say what they want. If it's well written and thought out, if they have a good reason for not liking whatever you did/said/think, then they have the right to express their opinion don't they? You don't have to take their advice or listen to them, but they are free to say what they want/

BenCracknell said...

I see what you mean how people see you as someone without feeling. I do see you as a person with feelings, and with a life and choices, but because, to me, you're this unstoppable force of awesomeness I don't really imagine you to be real. It's like, because I admire you so much, Kristina I see in videos is a robot, and the person replying to our comments is the robot controller. That sounds so horrible, but know what I mean. I DO NOT think of you as a robot, but I think of you as so awesome, and with an attitude that comes off across as I don't care, that people sometimes forget that you are in fact real.

About my own hater comments, I don't get any. I only have three videos, and they only have like 40 views. I'm not much of a big deal.

Have a great day!
Ben
<3

Caitlin said...

I think that over the past 3 years, I have gotten better at dealing with mean comments. There are a few of my early videos where I, or friends of mine answered and started this big old argument in the comments. Now, if something really bothers me, I ignore it, or I delete it entirely. They're my videos after all, I have the power to delete things I don't like.
The thing that still really gets to me is when people compare me to the artists I cover. I sound like me, not them. It's really just people being dumb and not overtly mean...but yeah.
Ignore or delete. I'm getting better at this.

`Adrielne said...

I'm pretty new to blogging and I've never even tried a video blog (I'm just that hopeless when it comes to talking to a camera - and I can talk over a living person anytime!) so I haven't had the doubtful pleasure of getting a hate comment YET, but I don't think I'd pay much attention if it didn't sound legitimate (the second type you described). I'd probably try to find out WHY the person said what they said and whether it's really true... But that's just me and my over-inquiring xD I really couldn't care less for whether they agree with me on a particular subject, but I would be sad if I found out that I had insulted them in some way.
End of rant - have a nice day! :D

Melody said...

(Sorry, super super long comment...)
Hate comments are a weird subject for me. They upset me when I get them, but at the same time, I kind of... understand them.

One of my very best friends hangs out on 4chan a lot, and he thinks it's funny. He trolls a lot online, and yes, he does leave hate comments on YouTube videos.
He does it to feel above something, I guess. To get some of his anger and judgmental tendencies out of his system. Being a hater on the Internet prevents him from being a hater in real life. It's not healthy, but it's his way of dealing with things and having fun.

And despite all that, he truly is an AWESOME person! I wouldn't be friends with him if he wasn't.

It's definitely weird to know that someone you love dearly likes to hurt other people's feelings in his spare time. But it also helps me realize that haters are all just regular people. They have some issues, and many of them are bored out of their minds, but in the end they're just people.

Lizzy said...

I haven't put myself out there too much on the internet, so I've never really had to deal with hate comments. However, I've dealt with plenty of hate offline, and I'm generally pretty good at just ignoring it. Doing anything else would just give the haters fuel.

Kalli Kavouklis said...

Kristina you have such a good view on this problem!

For me it really depends. On YouTube I've never received a truly mean comment before, but I've received the hater comments. With the hater comments I tend to feel a bit hurt that someone actually took the time to leave a comment that's sole purpose is just to make you angry. I tend just to delete/hide them and move on without even acknowledging they are there. I feel that just hiding them shows the haters that they matter so little that you won't even respond to them.

On DeviantArt I've received some seriously mean comments, most recently on a poem I wrote against animal testing. A user responded just plainly stating that the poem was worthless because my views (in their opinion) were outright wrong. So I argued with them, and luckily came out on top. I don't know what about spiteful comments angers me so...

Good luck on your laundry folding :-)

Will said...

The people commenting on your videos (and your blog) are mostly just strangers, not your REAL friends... It's your friend's comments that matter - not the comments of strangers. (Also, yes I do see the irony :P ).

ChickLitGirl said...

I dont really vlog, but if I love a vlogger, and I see a really bad hater comment, I just 'mark as spam' or give em a thumbs down.

This has nothing to do with your post BUT, you have an AWESOME voice and I watched your 'Mrs Nerimon' vid yesterday and I think I heard it over a 25656457553257 times. No joke. I even downloaded it for my ipod! Haha. I really like that song. Oh, and this other video, about Arrows, the one you did with Alex? Adorable. Im going to do something like that with my friends too. Keep up the awsome work!

<3
ChickLitGirl

Krazy_4_Kelly said...

I pretty much agree with your on hate comments. I mean, if I get one about something I'm doing, I'll take the time and rethink if I really think hat I'm doing is right. But once I've decided it is right, I try to get over it. Generally I do this by bringing it up to my friends and giving a good, intellectual argument over why they were wrong. I do this though because I very much have an external locus of control and need validation from others whom I trust before I feel as though I'm right.

It must suck getting these types of comments at all from people you've never met, you're very strong to have reached a point where they hardly ever affect you. :)

bekabee said...

Whenever I get a hater comment, I usually just laugh. :) Especially because the most typical "hater" comments I get are the "ur boobs are so small" kind, lol. The hardest thing for me is when someone leaves a really fleeting comment on something I've worked hard on. For example, if I spent a long time on a music video, and someone leaves a comment saying only:

"Your hair is different"

I don't mind if people like/dislike my video, but when they ignore the point completely... That's a little disappointing. :/

Ravenclaw2313 said...

Unpopularity has it's benifits to be sure, and one of them is no negative comments; at least on YouTube.

In life (performing at comedy shows for one) there are a lot of haters. I've found that it's best to just pretend you don't hear them. They want the satisfaction and ignoring them is a good plan. Plus it's unlikely what they say is constructive in any form. At least I don't find "Look at the fatty" to be constructive criticism.

That's not to say that comments can't ruin your mood or cause anger or sadness. One nice thing about media like YouTube is you have the ability to privately have at the haters without anyone knowing. Personally just the thought that I can write literary circles around the "your gay" crowd is helpful. I've got skills people want and I don't know a single hater who gets paid for what they do.

Good luck with the laundry and remember that despite the seemingly endless hoards of haters there's also an army on your side, ready with the true and positive comments.

Kaylin W. said...

I really liked this blog today! Hoorah for Kristina!
Hmmm... well, on youtube, I am kinda like a editor I suppose. I don't know, haha. I take pictures of famous or somewhat known people, or clips of movies or tv shows and mix them together with music and add cool coloring and effects and that's how I make my videos. There is a whole little community that does this on yt. It is very fun and everyone is very nice to one another. The reason I am rambling about this is that I am saying that the videos that I make don't really attract a lot of those dumb, hateful comments. Sometimes some people may say, "Oohmehgawd, tis vidoe suxs soooo baaaad!" But basically every vidder who gets those comments ignore them and other commentors just ignore them as well. That's what I try to do. Ok, I don't know why the heck I just told you all this. Felt like rambling about my part on yt. WOOO

pickles4muggles said...

Oh haters. I'm glad you stay confident and ignore them.

I've been on the tubez for about three years now and I've reached that point where I just laugh at all my hater comments. Some things that people say these days...so dumb.

Sometimes a comment would go too far and I'd defend it.

oh! and i love love love love love meekakitty, but I personally love your original music video to Don't Unplug Me better. It's super duper cute I love it so so so much! I just don't understand why Meekakitty's has over a million views? I mean, I'm happy for her and all, but I just really like yours better :/

Victory March said...

I haven't gotten hater comments yet, since I'm relatively new to the whole YT/ blog thing. But it seems to me that if people perceive you as just and image on screen, instead of an actual person, why should you give them anything more? Hate comments are just a lot of faceless words. Now the ones that are actually thought out would be interesting to read, but do hey even qualify as hate mail?

Anna M. said...

well since I am not well known at all I hardly ever get any (it's mostly just my friends commenting, their always nice =]). When I do get the rare hate comment, it does upset me, and I REALLY want to be petty and argue back and make them feel stupid.

usually I restrain myself and ignore it, like you, which I think is the smartest thing to do.

Amber said...

I'm a cashier and my pet peeve is when people set their money on the counter to pay instead of handing it to me. It wastes time picking it up (Especially coins, hello!!) and what's even worse is when I hold my hand out, and I'm not even joking, people purposely dodge my hand to put the money on the counter.

Some people say it's awkward to hold their money up forever when they realize I'm not going to take it right away (Hello, I'm bagging your things!!!) so to avoid that, have your money in your hand and then give it to me when I hold my hand out too.

It's not hard! I must have an anger issue that's beyond pet peeves lol because sometimes this just really makes me angry. Being a cashier is hard enough. In fact I think it's one of the hardest jobs that nobody recognizes.

Glitterifictinkerbel said...

I've never had a hater comment to be honest. But I don't really get many views. I don't think it will bother me that much. Its just their opinion and if they feel the need to spend their time leaving nasty comments then that's their problem. I feel sorry for them LOL xoxo <3 xxxx

Kelly said...

I don't post my life on YouTube for a few reasons...the main one is that I'm boring and no one would want to watch that anyway.So I don't have to deal with personal hate comments.

However, I love when I sign on after getting home from work to see a new 5AG video or a new blog post. It honestly makes my day. So when I see that someone has left a hater comment it really genuinely gets under my skin. My usual internal dialogue to these is "Shut the EFF UP!!!!" I would hate for you (or any of my favorite YouTubers) to start taking them to heart and then to stop posting videos. It honestly scares me. I think I depend a bit to much on my day being brighter by watching your videos. So anyway, please don't let any of them ever stop you from posting videos/blogs. Because in all honesty, it would ruin my life. LOL...no pressure or anything.

Anna said...

I think it's a testament to your success when people leave what you consider "hater" comments, when people spend enough time to intelligently explain what they didn't like about what you're doing, and especially when people discuss and compare your love interests. It's hard not to look at you like a public figure, because you make your life so public--it's part of your brand to be the awesomegirl who's just normal and friends with everyone, so why would you hide who you're doing? Your subscribers are all your friends too (or at least, that's the idea you put out is what I'm saying).

I'll admit that I've put way more thought into your personal life and relationships than really is normal, but then again, we live in a society that cares more about the latest episode of Bachelor than the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. So in a way it actually feels sort of normal to think about who you're dating and who you were cute with, because you're a mini-lebrity and that's what our society does with people who become successful and are in the public eye.

I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. One of the reasons I found out about you and your channel is your ex, but it isn't why I stayed and grew to like you. Hope this makes sense...

The Vagabond said...

I don't really vlog so I haven't ever received a hate comment. I do sometimes see stupid/rude people (the two usually go hand in hand) comment on videos I really like or vlogs of people I like so I can tend to get fired up about that. I'll admit that I've responded to a few of those in my time on YouTube. However, I find that not receiving comments at all can hurt pretty bad too. That's like no one cares. No one cares that you spent hours editing that video or typing out that blog. That's what really sucks.

Beth said...

I am rereading Hunger Games too! I am so incredibley excited for Mockingjay, I can't stop bouncing or smiling or randomly squeeing. It's starting to annoy people...

anna said...

I have yet to receive any hater comments on videos/blog posts but then again the only people that watch them are people I know well.

When I do come across hater comments/mean comments, especially on videos I particularly love, I mark them as spam about 99% of the time.

kira902k said...

I have personally never been bothered by a hater comment, but that's probably because I dont get that many comments, and if it is mean, it's usually some random troll. I'm not upset when someone says I'm dumb or whatever, but I feel like if someone insulted the way I looked (in a way that sort of hit on the truth) I could be really hurt. Because I'm only putting the part of myself that I want people to see online, and if someone thinks I'm stupid, then whatever. But the things that I can't really control, like my appearance...I feel like a well-worded insult could hurt me in that aspect.

but yeah, I agree with you on everything. You just have to be secure enough in yourself to know that it doesn't really matter what they think.
Great blog.
-alex

Aly said...

Hater comments don't usually bother me, but... I once filmed this video with my little sister for the Warner Brother's HP movie six contest about designing your own potion. It got a ton of views and made it to the finals which made me really happy, however, I was forced to take it down before the contest was even over by my little sister who starred in it because of the hater comments. She was playing a fairy and was supposed to be annoying and have a high pitched voice, but after a couple stupid trolls pointing this out to her she got so upset that we had to delete the video! However, tons of the viewers were really sweet and defending how at least she had the courage to make a video and do something creative, and I thinks that what one has to remember when you make a video and share it with the rest of the world. :)

Lauren said...

When I first started making videos, the occasional hater comments were really hurting my feelings. The only one I still remember, verbatim, was "get some tits so someone will actually care". But there's a point where I just decided that anonymous people can't hurt me, and if I couldn't pick them out of a crowd, they won't get under my skin. I'm proud to say that I've developed a thick skin through Youtube, as well as other things, but it definitely is something that takes some growing into.

Sarah Mowrey said...

The thing is. I think you might be confusing some of the "negative" comments with actual constructive criticism which, does matter. Then you may not be because Youtube has become such a two party system of love and hate. I wish the third party of constructive criticism would gain some traction.

I mean, I realize you're a very popular youtuber but that doesn't mean you shouldn't stop developing new ways to go about your content. I'm not saying you are, at all I'm just arguing for the need of constructive criticism.

As a significantly less popular YouTuber, I would like some negative feedback and suggestions on things I could do better. I think, at any stage of the game negative constructive criticism is helpful.

So, I wonder, (non-hypothetically) Do you ever really get constructive criticism? Do you welcome it? Do you benefit from it?

I would genuinely like to have this conversation with you.
My Youtube username is: alliteration1247
and my twitter is: Sarahendipity
so you can reply however you want. If any of this is interesting to you, of course.

I adore this blog post!
Loooove
Sarah

凱許倫 said...

來給你加油打氣!!!保重!!!............................................................

VTBurninator said...

I prefer the original "Don't Unplug Me" video...

Just sayin'

;)

Bitten Usagi said...

I have very few videos simply because after the one I got a little discouraged (I do manga reviews). It's the one I gotten over 8,500 views on and I got a lot of good comments and some bad ones. Honestly most didn't bother me until someone pointed out my buck teeth. For some reason that one hurt and now I'm all hesitant about posting anymore.

This post has helped me decide it's worth another try though. Thanks Kristina. ^w^

Espen said...

So, I'm shure that I missunderstand you, but the way you say it I get the feeling you just ignore all negative comments. I get that somme comments are just "hate" but all negative comments are not necensarily a bad things.

What I meen is that everyone who makes annything wants (or should want) constructive critisism. If people only comment "U r so kool" you'll never know how to improve yourself will you? And if there is one thing I'm shure about it's that an intelligent and creative person like yourself wants to improve your products.

But like I've allready said I'm shure that i just missunderstand your post.

-Espen (norwegian fan)