Alex and his dad just dropped me off at my flat in Greenwich, and while running the risk of sounding overly melodramatic, I think this is actually the most alone I have ever felt in my entire life.
Every shop in town is closed down because it's a Sunday, which we learned after driving all around looking for places for me to buy a few groceries. I can't find anyone from my course (a bunch of them went up to the gas station while I was saying bye to Alex and I was hoping they'd be back soon but I don't hear anyone). There is no Internet anywhere nearby, I don't have a phone (at least not one I can afford to use freely), and it's fairly early in the evening.
I keep jumping up to look out my window to see if anyone is walking around outside, but there has been nobody the last five times. I'm starting to feel silly.
I know that class begins tomorrow and I'll start to meet the other people who are here, but right now I am starting to wonder why I bothered with school at all and didn't just come to spend 2 months here doing fun things with the friends I already have, like Alex did when he stayed with me in Seattle. I don't want to write a 10 page paper. I don't want to finish these two boring books I've been assigned and discuss themes in class.
I'm feeling down about what could potentially be a really really great experience -
Yeah, so that last really incredibly sad entry was cut off because I heard a noise that sounded more like voices than the past 6 or 7 instances of wind blowing, jumped up to see if it was people outside, and for once it actually was. I managed to catch the gas station group before they went to hang out in a room on the top floor and proceeded to spend the next 5 hours with them. And I really like a handful of them so far. I am such a loser.
I don't know why I worry so much.
I think it's because, while I enjoy my alone time, I don't like BEING ALONE. I don't like doing things or going places alone. Having experiences are about the people you share those experiences with, and walking off into the unknown completely by myself scares me.
So I had a sort of moody 2 hours between when Alex and his dad drove off and when I met the people in my course. That's just how I am. I can make friends easily but I always let myself get over-apprehensive about it. I was so nervous about moving in that I barely ate any of the dinner Alex's dad bought me. I felt bad about that.
Anyway, I already like these girls named Lauren and Sarah a lot, and there is this other guy (whose name I can't remember now which makes me feel horrible) who is just absolutely hilarious. He reminds me of Kenan from Kenan and Kel. We spent a good part of the night debating whether or not this person who allegedly kissed him in on his trip to Amsterdam was a girl or a dude, because in the picture he was was passing around, s/he looked like a sort of feminine transvestite with a painted on goatee.
Now it is just after 1 in the morning, my laptop is still telling me it's 5 pm at home, I unpacked my clothes and things in an attempt to make it feel like I live here (my dorm/flat/whatever is cute xD) and I have just discovered a new secret pocket in my suitcase. On that note, I am going to sleep for my first day of school.
Oh oh oh: someone else said they thought of Harry Potter when they were on the train platform! See!!
didnt even notice
18 hours ago