8/2/09
Alex and his dad just dropped me off at my flat in Greenwich, and while running the risk of sounding overly melodramatic, I think this is actually the most alone I have ever felt in my entire life.
Every shop in town is closed down because it's a Sunday, which we learned after driving all around looking for places for me to buy a few groceries. I can't find anyone from my course (a bunch of them went up to the gas station while I was saying bye to Alex and I was hoping they'd be back soon but I don't hear anyone). There is no Internet anywhere nearby, I don't have a phone (at least not one I can afford to use freely), and it's fairly early in the evening.
I keep jumping up to look out my window to see if anyone is walking around outside, but there has been nobody the last five times. I'm starting to feel silly.
I know that class begins tomorrow and I'll start to meet the other people who are here, but right now I am starting to wonder why I bothered with school at all and didn't just come to spend 2 months here doing fun things with the friends I already have, like Alex did when he stayed with me in Seattle. I don't want to write a 10 page paper. I don't want to finish these two boring books I've been assigned and discuss themes in class.
I'm feeling down about what could potentially be a really really great experience -
8/3/09
Yeah, so that last really incredibly sad entry was cut off because I heard a noise that sounded more like voices than the past 6 or 7 instances of wind blowing, jumped up to see if it was people outside, and for once it actually was. I managed to catch the gas station group before they went to hang out in a room on the top floor and proceeded to spend the next 5 hours with them. And I really like a handful of them so far. I am such a loser.
I don't know why I worry so much.
I think it's because, while I enjoy my alone time, I don't like BEING ALONE. I don't like doing things or going places alone. Having experiences are about the people you share those experiences with, and walking off into the unknown completely by myself scares me.
So I had a sort of moody 2 hours between when Alex and his dad drove off and when I met the people in my course. That's just how I am. I can make friends easily but I always let myself get over-apprehensive about it. I was so nervous about moving in that I barely ate any of the dinner Alex's dad bought me. I felt bad about that.
Anyway, I already like these girls named Lauren and Sarah a lot, and there is this other guy (whose name I can't remember now which makes me feel horrible) who is just absolutely hilarious. He reminds me of Kenan from Kenan and Kel. We spent a good part of the night debating whether or not this person who allegedly kissed him in on his trip to Amsterdam was a girl or a dude, because in the picture he was was passing around, s/he looked like a sort of feminine transvestite with a painted on goatee.
Now it is just after 1 in the morning, my laptop is still telling me it's 5 pm at home, I unpacked my clothes and things in an attempt to make it feel like I live here (my dorm/flat/whatever is cute xD) and I have just discovered a new secret pocket in my suitcase. On that note, I am going to sleep for my first day of school.
Oh oh oh: someone else said they thought of Harry Potter when they were on the train platform! See!!
Exclusion Principle
1 day ago
15 comments:
I love secret pockets! What will you put in it?
Love to see pix of your cute dorm/flat. I've been looking forward to your trip ever since I first read about it on your blog. I plan on living vicariously through you.
Have fun.
The problem with secret pockets is that I loose stuff in them (usually important things like my bank card!)
How did the first day go? I'm sure you'll be back soon to tall us!
I agree about the photos :)
I know what it feels like to step into the unknown. When I was 15 I went to a completely different high school than ALL of my friends, I didn't know anyone. Literally, not a single person.
Now, I really don't regret it :) It was a chance to meet new, lovely people and sometimes stepping into the unknown is the best thing you can do.
<33
I hate going places alone because I'm terribley shy, so I usually don't meet new people unless I'm with a friend they already know, or they start talking to me.
And yeah, I'd love to see pictures of your dorm/flat to!
When I went to stay at a university last year, we stayed in the rooms that used to be a hospital (rumoured to be a mental hospital, I thought it was awesome). The rooms were great in the day, but creepy at night. They had little wooden desks and creaky chairs, a matress pushed up against the wall, two creepy closets and a sink. It did look like a room in a mental hospital...
Now that you're in England, shouldn't you do dates our way, you know, the proper way ; ) DD/MM/YY
It seems really weird, you talking about going to school when it's the middle of summer... just not right.
Glad your meeting people! People love you. You'll have good friends in no time. And it's probably good your doing school work while you're there even if it isn't fun. I think you'll be glad you did. Everyone gets lonely/moody. Don't worry about it.
I love finding secret compartments.
Sorry you don't have Internet. That sucks.
You're not a loser, you're human xD I feel the same way too sometimes, it seems like things are so horrible and dramatic and you don't want to do anything, but then someone comes or something changes and you're happy again... Sort of feels like people have a huge hold on you!
Just so you know, your trip sounds so awesome and spectacular to me (us)!! Hope your classes were great!!!
I'm so glad you feel better. I remember when I first went to uni and my parents drove off, I was so scared and felt ill. And I wasn't even in a different country. I'm positive you're going to be glad that you stepped out on your own and did this :)
My prediction- within the month you'll have more friends there than you can handle. It will just happen that way.
the whole being alone thing scares me too! I thought I was the only one with that problem really. Ironic, being alone scares me, and I think I'm alone in being scared of it.
Uh-oh, Nerimopey. :(
I always loose the group! Whenever I go somewhere with a large group of people I'm the one who gets lost. They're all wandering around together having a great time and I'm wandering around thinking "Where the hell did everyone go?"
I'm sure you'll do fine. Sounds like things are getting better already. :D
Oh man I know that alone feeling. I graduated and moved away with my mum and moved to the most abandoned place EVER and all the shops were closed by 1pm on a Saturday and weren't even open on Sundays. I had no friends and most of the kids my age either had spawn or stared me down. The library looked like it had 300 books as opposed to a couple of thousand I was used to. I moved back shortly after but being alone most of the time taught me how to be alone and do things by myself for long periods of time. As stupid as it sounds it's a great coping mechanism for when I am alone for just a little while. I am glad however, that you've got some awesome sounding new friends.
Hey Kristina!
I'm glad your having fun and that London/England is treating you with all the respect you deserve.
I was just wondering, are you going to be making 5ag videos whilst your in England, I've asked Lauren, Liane, Hayley and Kayley, but they don't know.
(:
anyway, I hope you have an amazing rest of the trip, and enjoy your time over here :D
x
x
Hey! I'd love to see pictures of your flat or maybe a video on youtube showing how your doing in London XD It'd be quite interesting.
I don't get it. What do you call platforms in America then?
Post a Comment