It is so frustrating.
I had a GREAT day today. I felt good, I had fun, but then I come back to my flat, open my laptop to check email and things, and THE TINIEST LITTLE THING SETS ME OFF, and it all comes rushing back. :/
It's not even important - Alan tweeted a link to a blog Alex wrote for DFTBA on shipping dates and eddplant tweeted something about a show he's playing at on Friday during SITC. These things are completely insignificant. But just being reminded of him off guard like that, knowing I have to see him/listen to his stupid love songs this weekend (I haven't seen him since he broke up with me) just puts me in such a foul mood, and I have no idea how long it's going to take me to not let that happen every time I see his name. I don't want to let him to ruin the Internet for me, of all things. It upsets me actually, that it has that strong of an effect over me when I just want to be okay.
Today I walked by a few places with my friends that I remembered going to with him in central London, and I tried practicing being cold and unfeeling about it. It was hard.
And I have been starting to brace myself for the questions at Summer in the City, though I know that the majority of people will be nice, supportive, or embarrassed they asked, when my reply is thus:
"Where is Alex? I have no idea, as he broke up with me two weeks ago, pretty much abandoning me in a foreign country and leaving me without a place to stay for three weeks. Oh you didn't know? That's okay, it just happened recently, while I've been thousands and thousands of miles from anything familiar to me. How are you?"
T-minus 3 days until the SITC weekend of doom, and I'm crossing my fingers that I can enjoy it.
LIFE IS FUN.
I promise, the rest of this blog entry is Alex-free.
In other other news, I did have a really good day.
We got up early and took the train into the city, where everyone met up at the Imperial War Museum. I tried my first sausage roll. It was pretty good, actually. I wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised.
I meandered around looking at all the war artifacts, wandered through the Trench Experience (pretty cool), learned about the Blitzkrieg, and walked through an incredibly sad exhibit on war through the eyes of children.
I already adore children and in general seeing anything remotely sad involving little kids makes me kind of tear up (Charlotte's Web gets me every time) - but with how emotionally unstable I have been lately mixed with replicas of gravestones from 14 year olds who died in battle and letters to parents informing them that their children who'd been evacuated had been on a ship that got bombed and there was no hope of them coming home- I was BAWLING, right there in the museum. So I opted out of seeing the Holocaust section next and spent the rest of my time in the gift shop.
After the war museum, we weren't exactly sure what to do with our day since it was only about 2 and we were already in central London. We realized it is our last week of class, and many people are going home this weekend, so we decided to wander and find pubs and just have FUN.
...we ended up going to 6 different pubs over the course of about 6-7 hours. :O
1. The first one was called... gah. Something gothic. I can't remember. We were only there for a short while though, because they refused to serve us alcohol without a UK id. Ridiculous. I have never encountered that before, and I have been here for a month already.
2. Annoyed, we moved to a pub right on the Thames and this new place was a bit better, though I did order a tomato and mozerella sandwich thinking it would be grilled and melty and good, but they literally slapped cheese and tomato slices on bread and charged me 6 pounds. Losers.
3. I don't remember the name of this next place either, but there were pillows on the benches in the pub, really great mood lighting, and 2 of the bartenders were American. Everyone was really nice here, and a bunch of us had these epic mojitos and bowl after bowl of salty bar snacks.
4. We went to the ... WHY CANT I REMEMBER ANY OF THE NAMES? Something cute about cheese... anyway I love how there are just so many quirky little pubs in this country. This one had a stairway leading down to a labyrinth of lower level seating in dungeon-looking rooms and it was a blast. We had the most fun at this pub.
5. The last pub we actually went into and ordered things at was called "Ye Old Cock". I'm not going to lie, that's the only reason we wanted to go. Also they had free wifi!
6. On our way back to Charing Cross, we stopped in and had a look around at the Old Bank of England, which was all fancy and classy looking and famous. I geeked out a little because it's on Fleet street, and I was reading this plaque on the wall talking about the Bank's grim history because it was situated between the barber shop and the pie shop, and I wanted to take pictures and find out if there was anything else around to see but it was dark and kind of ambiguous, and no one else I was with appreciated the Sweeney Todd references so begrudgingly, I left.
I ended up eating way too much food, trying a lot of different kinds of cider beers, and getting to know a lot of the people from my course a lot better. Figures, right when it's about to end.
I had a chat with Johnny on skype tonight and remembering how excited I am to meet him renewed my faith in SITC a little bit - if I have half as much fun with him as I did with Liam, the entire weekend will be worth it. :)
Tomorrow is Leed's Castle! Then possibly a show at the Globe theatre, standing like a peasant. We'll see.
Edit: Just told my dad on skype that I tried Guiness today and thought it was nasty.. here is the resulting conversation regarding my upcoming trip to Dublin:
Randy: the irish won't like you if you dont like guiness
Kristina: Hahhaa.
Kristina: The Irish will LOVE me.
Kristina: I'll do a jig.
Days until I leave: 30
Times I've had Indian food: 9 (just pub food today)
Europa Clipper
1 day ago
83 comments:
Guiness is nasty and tastes yuck and thats coming from a 100% irish person born and raised in Dublin.
I cried at Charlottes Web too!
*Hug* Just remember your readers wish you all the best to get through this tough time and vent whenever you want it always feels better to vent!
I must admit this breaks my heart reading this. I've been really low lately and it kills me to think you're suffering too. I'm going to give you a massive hug and heal you. It's what I do - apparently. And if not, there's always my purple friend to amuse you x
I tried Guiness in Ireland and I didn't like it but to be fair it was out a can so I going to be kind to the Irish and assume its better if you have it on draught. I spent the next year after that holiday, working in a bar and serving Guiness to Welsh people...funny how things like that come around.
I hope you enjoy the rest of your London stay, reading this blog actually makes me want to go to London and soak up some culture :) I feel so un-British when you have more knowledge of London than I do I fail :(
I pretty much caught on quickly about the Alex thing without explicitly asking, so I'm sure things will be fine at SitC and there will be so many people that it'll be floaty and big and nice. You will enjoy yourself, if I have to force you! (in the nicest way ever :D)
I think the pub crawl sounded interesting, and here in Britain we prepare for the worst, if it doesn't say grilled, it isn't grilled :( (which is silly as uncooked mozzarella is pretty much the most horrible cheese ever). A pub with free wi-fi is new to me, and brilliant.
As always, my wishes of happiness and good feelings are with you.
It makes me sad that your sad. And in an awesome place like London too. That sucks when you associate someone with things you are forced to encounter. It just ruins things. Honestly though, and this is going to sound really cliche but whatever, that was a really stupid mistake he made. You seem like a completely awesome person and you are definitely someone I wish I knew irl and could call a friend. You seem really nice and genuine and that's awesome. If I lived in London I would totally offer you a place to stay, but alas, I live in stupid Texas.
I hope your England experience gets better! You should try Lamb Kadai next time you get Indian food.
:-)
Your readers love you Kristina! Never forget that!!! *virtual hugs*
-Katherine
Luckily I'm not the handful who didn't get the hint about you-know-who, (sorry, BAD Harry Potter joke,) early on. And to be 100% honest I've felt a smidge of what you're going through right now. My ex is in every single one of my classes this year and I always have these hatful, confused, but mostly upset feelings toward him since, like you, he broke up with me. But unlike you, it feels the worst when we have eye contact. Again, it's a smidge, I can't even imagine how it must be for you, and I truly am sorry.
On the bright side of this comment, I've been matching fictional people to nerdfightin' Youtubers. (Awful, isn't it?) First I read "Prism" by Faye and Aliza Kellerman, the boy in the story, Ozzy, looked, talked, and acted like Johnny Durham. (These are all teen fiction by the way so this is a good genre for you huh?) Next I read "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins, (as you should know,) and Peeta Mellark is Charlie. (charlisissocoollike.) I don't know why this is occurring, but I don't know how to aid this! What's next? Daniel Radcliffe will look like Harry Potter? His eyes are BLUE, it'll never work out. ;D
I have a possible theory as to why you can't remember the names of the pubs, but I;m way too nice a guy to say it. lol.
As to the rest, you're going to be fine. Not sure how you're going to get there, but you're going to be fine. There are people there who know you and love you that you can lean on this weekend, and many others only a phone or a text away. And yes, those of us who don't know you IRL love you too, and will be wishing the best for you.
I should be writing an essay right now, but I feel like somehow just having your blog open will make you feel better.
Aw Kristina *hugs*
I haven't commented on your blog before but it's always so sweet, truthful and interesting :) Like most of the above commenters, I caught on a few entries ago and even though you've blogged about how hard it's been, you still seem admirably strong. I'm glad you've had some really good days in London, and I'm going to saturday and sunday of SITC so I hope I get the chance to say hello :) There'll tons of other people there that you do and don't know, and I'm sure that if enough of your blog readers are there we can set up a warning patrol contact system thing in case you really don't feel like encountering some people :)
Best wishes and I hope your trip just gets better from now onwards :)
Rachel
just found out Notting Hill Carnival is on the Sunday... Since the plan for Sunday was to split off into groups and do whatever the hell we want, I might take a group there.
I defy you not to enjoy yourself at Notting Hill Carnival!
I should point out that I've never been to Notting Hill carnival and I'm not sure what goes on there. But it sounds AMAZING.
God, I can't imagine how much it must hurt to be in the same city as Alex and to be going to the same gathering as him. I worked with my first boyfriend, and after we broke up, it was so hard to just force myself to go to Jewel, knowing he'd be there. I quit my job two weeks later. :\ Man, break-ups suck.
And if the Doctor was with you at the museum, he probably would've loved that you hung out at the gift shop because it always leads to the exit. (I hope that cheered you up a little bit, instead of like, reminding you of Alex or something.)
Oy.
I always thought it was ironic that I'm half German and a quarter Irish, and yet I don't like beer. :P My siblings, though, tell me that I just have to drink it more and I will eventually learn to like it, which seems counterproductive.
I can't recall if you've mentioned this before, but what are you going to do with the rest of your time in London? Like, are you going to stay with friends?
And dude, don't even worry about what people are going to say about the break-up. Just deal with it in whatever way makes sense. Life will be better, one day. :)
Dave, the carnival is phenomenal. There's generally a bit of trouble due to the roughness of West London (not dissing it; that's where I grew up) but as long as the group stays together and doesn't try to start any fights, it should be fantastic :) The music is sensational and the parades of costume clad participants is pretty awe-inspiring.
you there.
you are an amazing, talented, inspiring person who i have wanted to pretty much be since i started watching you. and i just wanted to say now that i've caught up on your blog again that i still feel that way, and that i know EXACTLY what you are feeling because a similar experience happened to me last year. I'm pleased to report that i've finally gotten over it, and while it feels like the day may never ever come when you can look at the experience and not feel like there is a hole in your heart, i promise you that it comes. it's crappy advice, but i am always true on my promises.
also, i unsubscribed to alex because i now dislike him. >>>>>>>:[
i figured it might make you feel a little bit better that his jerkishness has cost him some fan-love. <3
First off, we will LOVe you. And NO, you wont do a jig *shakes head*
The first thing I thought when Alan posted that picture was "Oh noes, this is going to upset Kristina :(" Im sorry Kristina.
*Huggles*
Im Really sad that im probably not going to get to meet you now since the Cork Gathering date changed, im probably going to be in Canada for the new date (Whatever that is). I really wanted to give you a huge hug. Drat.
Also, im really pretty pissed with Alex right now. I didnt think I would be...but damn it, I read your blog and watch your video's more than I watch his. So my loyalty is showing now :P.
On a side note, I know this is no where near the pain you're going through but ima tell you a story, and it has to do with you facing Alex at SITC. So, Ive liked this guy for two and a bit years, and a month and a half ago one of my best friends started going out with him. At First I was hurt, and felt a little betrayed (Even though she'd asked me beforehand) and I avoided seeing them together comepletely. I havnt seen him at all (even though he's one of my besr friends)over the summer, and its helped me get over him a teeny bit. But on monday I go back to school, and I have to see them together and Im scared, like you. But know that 1)I can't avoid it forever I have to see him/them sooner or later, and I suppose I should get it over with 2) I (and you) have plenty of friends to help me through it, as long as I let them.
Basicly, what Im saying is. Kristina, it has to happen eventually, you cant avoid him like the plague forever because you have many of the same friends. But those friends are going to help you, and us blog commenters will too, in anyway possible. So please don't worry. It'll all work out with time, and practise, and experience.
And I know you probably wont take me seriously because im fifteen, but I have alot of experience in dealing with hurtfull things.
AFter re-reading that it sounds like im looking for pitty. Im not XD.
Also about the Guiness, my mam says its an aquired taste, you just have to try it a few times, then you'll love it. So dont give up hope :).
<3 Freya
Oh darling! I remember how it felt when my relationship with my long time boyfriend ended. I thought my whole world had ended. I would die a little every time one of our mutual friends mentioned him. It was so difficult for me because he had known all of them much longer than them, in fact I became friends with all of them because of him. Life was AWFUL. But I remember hearing a quote that made me feel better that I would be "cut afresh" every time I heard about him/saw him/got reminded of him,
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars."
Scars are beautiful things Kristina, wear yours with pride and know you have a lot of people that love you and are rooting for you and will be crossing our fingers for you this weekend, I know I will.
Yeah, I'm totally sure people know by now. I just kind of knew something was up when there was a massive out pour of love on Twitter for you. You have SUPER good friends! I know you know that!
I'm completely irked by the situation. I know how it is after a break up. I was with my boyfriend for 5 years (promise ring was involved too) and he dumped me for some chick at a Japanese restaurant. NICE, right? From then on I couldn't watch anything that reminded me of him or listen to anything, etc. And wished badly on his favorite sports teams. You know how that goes? But eventually you pull through <3 and we're all here for you!
OH YEAH, and it completely ruined Japanese food for me for a good year. And I still get sketched out by the waitresses. Sigh.
Oh my God, Kristina... That was just beyond the worst thing I thought about. I want to hug you so much, you need someone to hug you so badly... Is there anywhere I can send you a letter to, just to make you feel a bit better? I don't know, I... it breaks my heart, reading this. How can a person *do* that... it's so bewildering.
A big, huge, colossal hug <3
I really hope you have fun at the gathering Kristina! You totally deserve it.
Sounds like you had an awesome day in London though... I was there for a weekend a couple weeks ago, and my friend and I were walking by the Globe so picked up those 5 pound standing tickets. It was a really fun night! The actors are coming through the audience the whole time so you feel really involved... I definitely recommend it, a good London experience!
:( I dont know what to say that might make you feel better, but just remember that all of us here and on youtube and on blogtv and EVERYWHERE love you and send you a baziiiiiiiillllion giiiiant hugs and we alll want you to have a fantastic time (: just remember alll the super fantastic people youre going to get to hang out with besides "him". like johnny! and jerry! and liam! people that the rest of us common folk only dream of meeting.
<3 x 8 million.
Is the gathering in Dublin or cork?and when is it?
I'm quite confused :S
Your posts keep bringing back so many Dublin memories! I waited to visit the Guinness Factory to try it, and I couldn't take more than two sips of my free pint. I don't know how the Irish do it.
As for the boy situation, I know nothing that can be said in a blog comment can really, truly help, but just keep your chin up and remind yourself how amazing you are. Anyone that makes you feel how you're feeling now isn't worth having in your life. Easier said than done, I know, but give it a try?
HUG!
*cyber hug* I'm sure you'll have tons of fun at SITC. Just think about all the fun things you'll get to see and do and the people you'll hang out with.
But I am quite happy that you had a good day. Your pub crawling sounded like fun :)
I hope that your trip gets better as the days go on :) Keep being strong!
<3 and cyber hugs
Sam
Ugh, Guinness. :)
If you feel like reading it, your thing about Alex inspired a stupid blog post from me.
http://way-away.blogspot.com/2009/08/reading-kristinas-blog-today-made-me.html
I really don't understand him. I'm sorry for bringing this up in a comment, but WHY would he break up with you?? You're beautiful, creative, talented, hilarious, and an all around amazing girl. You're honestly someone I look up to.
You've been doing long-distance for months, and when you're finally in his country for a while, he breaks up with you? It doesn't make sense at all.
I really want to be in England and be friends with you so I could come over to your flat, hug you, and tell you boys are stupid, and just make you feel better.
And, I'm sorry if I come off as a creeper, but Facebook still says you're in a relationship?? Have you just not changed it yet?
Your blog readers are here for you, Kristina, and you can be as sad as you want in your posts, it's your blog to vent in :]
Just wanted to say 'keep your chin up', Kristina! You have lots of people who are sending healing vibes your way. Think about life before Alex and try and retune yourself to it. Try and keep your mind off things, and if I were you, try and keep your distance from him at the festival.
Don't be sad, Kristina, all of your readers love you! We'll always be here for you <33333333
i actually sorta want to kill him for doing this to you.
I'm sure that it's been one of the most difficult things to deal with, I know this doesn't sound like much, but remember the positive things, like how you have a bunch of other great people who love and care for you.
The globe theater is awesome. We got seats though cause standing didn't sound like all that much fun. We actually went to a 90th birthday part in the globe to. They have this crazy restaurant that over looks the whole thing.
OKay so I have a whole Guiness story. So we went to Ireland and we went on this literary pug crawl. so we go in the first bar and we figure we have to get some Guiness. So i push up to the bar and order a half pint. I mean we don't even like bear to begin with. The bar tender looks at me like he's never heard of a half pint in his life.
well anyway it was horrible. It tasted like a wet rag. It didn't even look like we took a sip of the half pint.
the literary part of the tour was awesome but we skipped that bars from then on.
Aww, I really do hope things start to get better for you soon.
You're too awesome of a person to be so down all the time.
=]]]
I'm sorry you had a bad ending to your great day. Just know that you are loved by thousands of people and we are all sending love in your direction.
Remember the old saying: Time wounds all heels.
If I lived in London, you could stay with me as long as you liked!
Glad you had a great day. I hope SITC goes okay. We all like to see a happy Kristina.
I don't understand how he could do that to you. It's really really really crappy of him. :(
Hey Kristina? I know we've never met and you have no idea who I am and this could sound weird, but just know that I'm sending you a huge telepathic hug of sorts, okay?
:)
If it makes you feel any better, I never really liked Alex. That probably doesn't make you feel better at all... But I'm sure this will: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBdymtyXt8Y
Anyway, it sounds like you had a fantastic time pub-hopping! The people in your life are really lucky, Kristina, to be in the company of someone as beautiful as you. :)
LOL I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY A JIG!
wait, did he break up with you right when you got there?
OMG FLEET STREET!!!
at first, i was like, why does fleet street sound so familiar? then i was saying it the way johnny depp says it and then i was like 'OMG HIS SHOP IS ON FLEET STREET"
and then i was insanely jealous of your ability to see all things harry potter and sweeney todd and others that i can't even think of.
<3
cheers, love
*hug* Alex is a poopey head for doing that to you. Things have been going better for you, wi-fi in the flat and becoming friends with the people from your course. Hopefully things will continue to get better. Make the best of your London Experience!
i know what you mean, small reminders of my ex still puts me in a spin. sometimes you just have to deal w/ it. other times, remember that you're on an adventure; go w/ the flow and have the best time of your life. that's why i went to europe when the ex broke up w/ me. and i had the BEST time of my life.
i want to come and save you somehow, but i'm not sure how. its like all those characters you want to save in books. i want to save you like i want to save hamlet.
Greeeeat, now I want to hug you so hard that your guts squeeze out of your eyeballs. Why do you make me want to do that? That's so... Kristina. Anyway, go meet Amy Snow and hug her guts out for me.
"distashi"? A Japanese dish that is quite distasteful?
Dearest Kristina,
I read this and immediately thought of sending you Kate Nash's "Foundations." So that is what I'm doing...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhC4E055OsY
Mmmm. My favorite song to have in most any situation but especially yours. A little pop-y, a little bitter, and very fun. I like to sing it a little loudly in the shower..."You said I must eat so many lemons 'cuz I am so bitter, I said I'd rather be with your friends, mate, 'cuz they are MUCH fitter."
Cheers! (love?)
Don't worry love, everything will get better. Not perfect, but better. :) I can't say I've can understand what your going through but all of your readers and watchers want you to know that we are here:) *hugs* Try to enjoy the rest of your trip! Always look on the bright side of life :)
I bawled in Charlotte's Web. I'm glad I'm not alone in that. And I really want to try Guinness! But I hear it's like a loaf of bread in a glass, so I don't know how much I'd be able to drink...
Have a great time tomorrow, go to the Globe for the experience! And so I can live vicariously through you. XD
I'm so upset that I can't come!
:'(
All my favourite youtubers will be there, and one im not to fond of at this minuet >:( but still!
I can't believe ill miss you!!!!
I hope you have fun anyway, or at least try to. Remember, we'll be here when ever you need us. (:
x
x
x
x
PLEASE do a jig. jigs make everything better.
and while it saddens me to read about your heart break, venting tends to help lift it up. it's kind of like putting it out there instead keeping it on your heart.
it's cheesy and cliche, but all things important inevitably become it.
Guinness is gross - and I'm 100% bona fide Irish. So don't worry, the Irish will, and in fact already do, love you :) Hope you have fun times while you're here. I don't know dublin that well but Trinity is worth an ol' wander round when you're there.
I really hate that you'be been hurt and that this weekend is going to be tinged by it but I know you'll also be surrounded by loads of other awesometastic people!
I might even be brave enough to stop being a faceless blog commenter and hug you too.
:)
dont worry:)..im irish and i hate the taste of guinness..its like a huge meal in a pint and you feel terribly full after..get a bulmers..its still irish but much nicer:)..hope you have fun visiting tho:)
Lots of seriously love here!
I'm an 8th irish (my GreatGrandad was from Ireland) I pretend thats enough to call myself Irish on St Paddy's Day lol.
*hugs* I'm an hour train ride from London and I know it would be weird meeting a stranger but I promise I don't bite and come with references should you need someone :)
For now my text *hugs* will suffice.
Han :)
A friend of mine who lives in London suggested this restaurant to me: http://london.unlike.net/locations/302647-LMNT
It looks really neat, if only for the decorations but I've heard the food is really fantastic and not that pricey. There's also a restaurant/bar in Shoreditch called Cantaloupe which I've heard is excellent. :)
The london.unlike website is full of quirky and budget friendly places to visit!
I really hope you've found a new place to stay! :( That would really upset me if someone just left me in a foreign country with no place to stay!! I have to say that's pretty low, so you have a right to be angry about it.
HUGS! Looking forward to hearing about more of your adventures in London! :D
I hate Guiness. My parents don't understand how I can not like it. They are silly people.
It's horrible that your trip has been polluted by so much hurt, but I'm sure you'll have an awesome time at SITC. I wish I was going because so many fantastic people will be there and then I could be really creepy and come and give you a hug in person. But you'll be surrounded by people who love you and that's the main thing. And this will have to do for now *hugs*
PS - I'm not a creepy stalker, I promise.
One of my best friends is Irish, and I remember when we first met and we were arguing (messing about), and she was saying something stereotypical about Liverpool, so I told her to go and grow potatoes.
YOU NEED TO GET THE IRISH PEOPLE TO SAY 'CURLY WURLY'. I make my Irish friends say it EVERY time we're on the phone. Mind you, I don't know how you say it. With my accent, it sounds like "cer-ly wer-ly", but with hers, it's like, "corly worly".
Also, according to her, I'm "practically a leprechaun", because my great-great-grandad on my dad's side, and my great-great-grandad on my mum's side were Irish >.< And my great-great-grandad's cousin was this person;
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Collins_(Irish_leader)
Kristina, you have every right to be angry every time you hear his name, and I'd be shocked if you weren't! You were strong to begin with and you'll be even stronger afterwards.
Don't let it spoil the UK for you, it's not that bad a place really!
xxx
America doesn't have sausage rolls?! :O
They're made of complete crap but I still continue to eat them...
You should know from Ginny's experience with Guinness in '13 Little Blue Envelopes' not to taste it! :P Although I can't really talk, as I've never had it. Oops.
I'm sorry to hear about you and Alex. I know it doesn't mean much coming from a stranger, but I really hope his presence at SitC doesn't ruin the weekend for you. If anything, I wish I could go just to say hi and give you a hug. (That didn't sound so creepy-stalkerish in my head - I didn't mean it like that, honest.)
You just reminded me I haven't read Charlotte's Web for years! I apparently read it with my mum when I was 7, and we were both bawling by the end. I don't remember this. xD
Best wishes from West Sussex. :)
Cheers love. (Is this getting old yet?) xx
I'm not very good with comforting words, so here's some virtual hugs instead :)
I really hope things get better for you :)
So I don't think I've ever commented before and so I'm really sorry that this is the first thing I ever commented on, but I just wanted to add my voice to the ever increasing number of people that are offering e-hugs, love and just general "we're here-ness".
I've just come out of a relationship of a year and a half, and although I wasn't abandoned in a foreign country I can empathise with how you're feeling (..Talk about reminders - I've got a year and a half's worth of her clothes in my room). It will get better, I promise!
You're brilliant, Kristina. Don't let us silly British boys make you think anything else! <3
(Also Captcha: 'Pablest' - The littlest Picasso)
I'm so sorry about everything happening with Alex. It must be so hard being away from home and having to deal with this. *hugs*
Also, Leeds castle is great, it has beautiful grounds and lots of peacocks running about! It's half an hour from my parents house so it is literally the closest I will have ever been to a 5AG! hehe.
I hope that things are okay for you this weekend.
x
I know it's going to be really hard at SITC, but just remember that you're there to have fun & see friends & meet new people!! Don't let him ruin that for you after he's been such an arse!!
P.S. Sausage Rolls = HEAVEN!! :-D
P.P.S. Uno what they say the best way to get over a guy is to get under another... ;-) LOL - No thats bad advice, ignore me!!
Take Care Kristina!!
xXx Jodie xXx
Guinness is disgusting. Drink Cider instead, still Irish, and tastes much better.
Oh wait, your going to Dublin, I'm not from Dublin but I was there for a few days this summer. We ate at, god, what's it called.... erm I totally can't remember but it's in the Temple Bar area right beside the entrance to the area coming from the Liffey, it's up stairs and they have someone outside trying to sell the place to you (which is not that popular there).
If your going to go to the city center from the airport, buy a family pass for the day because it's the cheapest way.
Try and have fun at SITC. I am so bummed I can't afford to go and meet all the lovely people of YouTube. You'll have lots of friends there, try and focus on that if possible.
Like many others, Guiness is pretty disgusting. A jig will surely win anyone over. :)
Don't worry about SITC, you have friends there and everything will be just fine. It will all get better.
I think the tag for this post should have been "the names I don't remember" Glad that you had fun running around with your classmates. It's nice to just get out and do things. As far as your dad's opinion on Guiness; as long as you drink at the pubs then the Irish will love you. I spent two weeks in Ireland a few summers ago and I found the people to be amazing and really kind. I want to go back someday.
On the Alex side I will echo all the other comments. We love you and are here to offer support, advice, and more virtual hugs than you know what to do with. Also SiTC is huge so if you want to avoid parts of it you can. However, if you feel like you can face it, do it. Trust me, the sooner you can look at him and go "You know what sucker? I'm happy, here, single, as me." the better. Not saying this will happen overnight or even over a month but it will happen. Just take some time to get reacquainted with yourself. You're Kristina and there are things in your life that have made you happy for 21 years, try to remember them.
Cheers love. *hugs*
guiness....urgh i hate that stuff.
im with you on that one kristina...i'd rather do a jig to earn love from the irish. :)
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a hard time during something that should be the experience of a lifetime. Boys have the worst timing, huh? I know so many guys who broke up with their girlfriends on their birthdays or right before Valentine's Day... apparently the reasoning is "Why draw it out any longer than we have to?" or something like that. Which I suppose I see the logic of but no way does it help it suck less for the girl! I know it's hard to imagine right now but one day you will have completely neutral feelings toward all the songs, places, movies, etc., that bring back memories right now. It just takes time, and a little self-indulgence while you wait. Take really good care of yourself and do all the things you love to do while you tough it out, and it makes the time fly that much faster. And remember that all your readers/youtube followers love you! There's lots of love in the world for Kristina!
For what it's worth, and since some of you are deciding to weigh in on what a jerk I am without knowing all the facts:
Which do you think is better?
1) What happened has happened.
OR:
2) We stay together for the rest of her time here, that's another month, even though I know that despite me liking her a lot, we're just very different people and it's not going to work. Essentially I deceive her for the rest of her trip, ignore everything we had that was wrong in our relationship, and THEN - after she's spent a day on a 10-hour plane journey home, feeling crappy and tired and missing everyone - I EMAIL her to say I don't think it's gonna work. She realises I've felt this way for ages and can't believe I spent all that time lying or avoiding it, only to break her heart in an email and move on with my life without getting to see her or talk any more about it.
So I did what I thought was best, trying to respect that she's a big girl who deserves to know the truth about how her boyfriend feels without lying and stringing her along like a child for the rest of her trip. Kristina was offered the chance to go home early, but she turned it down, so her being stuck here is now her choice, not mine. And I DID offer her a place to stay in September.
That's just so we're all clear, if anybody's even going to read this at this point ... I didn't just drop her and move on without taking a LOT of time to consider her feelings.
i may have been to the Pub number 4 was it neer lester square if its the one im things of me and my freinds call its the LOTR pub because it seems like a place that halflings and washed up soldiers might go
Umph, I hate beer in general, so can't comment much regarding to the guinness controversy xD I'm soo glad you're having fun... I'm watching doctor who right now and that reminded me of you, so I came to see if you'd blogged and WOW, so many comments already! Is it just me or have your been getting way more comments lately?
Alex is a jerk_ I'm sorry, I just had to say that! What a jerk!! don't let him ruin your trip, be tough...
I love you kristinaa, have fun!! I'm going away this weekend so I might not be an active commenter <3
Well if the people at Summer In The City are sensible, then they'll read your blog before talking to you, won't they? Please don't get too sad.
LOVE YOU. You have my support. :)
(here come's a cliche sorry) i know exactly how you feel.
woke up this morning to find an ikea catalog came in the mail and i lost it.
and i have to admit i cried more than a little bit when i came to the words "holocaust section"
sometimes just gotta throw your hands in the air. heartbreak is tough.
im sorry you're sad. and sorry for the lame atempt to make things better from a stranger :]].
cheers love!
1. I don't like Guiness either. It's too heavy.
2. I really know what you're going through. I thought I was over this guy who treated me badly but then I saw him out last night and...It's been two months and it just made everything feel so fresh and raw again. I'm sorry that wasn't very comforting.
3. Reading your blog makes me want to go to London right away and visit pubs! But I have to wait a year and a half.
Haha! I saw the Ye Olde Cock when I was in London too - took a picture as we drove past!!
Ireland will love you Kristina, if not I will kick their arses!! :D
ox
You said a little while ago that it felt like only a small amount of people, the regular commenters, read your blog, but I see that this post got 73 comments! So remember that a huge number of people, even those who don't have time to comment on most of the posts are here for you.
That's so cool that you saw Fleet Street! All the Sweeny Todd fans here were there beside you, fangirling, even if no one else was. :]
A few years will pass by and you will think the best thing Alex could do was break up with you the way he did because it made you a much better person.
And Alex will think maybe he could have given it a few more weeks and just because you were staying with him doesn't mean you have to stay boyfriend and girlfriend and wait until you have another roof to break up via e-mail. Alex has all the right not to want you as a girlfriend. But as a friend, he should have known a little better.
Also, not going home earlier IS the best decision, any alternative would forever feel like failure. You don't seem like the type who would accept that.
Don't know why I'm saying all this, I'm pretty sure you know it by now.
PS: Offer to visit Spain still up. Besides the plane ticket, you won't have to spend another dime.
Even though I don't know you (except through what I've learned from blogs, videos, and twitter) this hurts my heart. I hope you feel better. I have a hard time believing he would do something like that, but I guess he would. Cheer up, love!
Oh my God I leave on vacation fr 4 weeks and I've had so much to catch up!!! I'm sorry that things between you and Alex didn't work out... I have been reading your updates from the earliest to the newest, and as I was reading I was dreading what you have already confirmed to us. It's a shame that Alex didn't see any other solution other than just break up =/ I'm not being funny, I am truly sorry.
Just make the most of it, I guarantee you that you won't regret this time. As much as you might think that there's no point in staying in the UK, you did want to do the course before meeting Alex; and maybe on a harsher note, you would have carried on together and this would (or might) have happened anyway further along the line and it would have been even more painful... What do you think?
I don't like Guiness, I actually just don't like beer full stop...
I'd much like to go into that maze though!! Sounded fun!!!
Thinking of you and warm regards from Spain.
.....Charlottes web made me bawl like a baby, this might seem weird seeing as how you don't actually know me, but *HUG FROM CANADA!*. Sometimes stuff happens that is really shitty and only a hug can help, it's also a plus you have Eia close ..
Hope you feel better and the rest of your England experience is amazing!
-Haley
"I tried my first sausage roll. It was pretty good, actually. I wasn't expecting much, but I was pleasantly surprised."
Never underestimate the awesomness of a sausage roll
I think we all want the best for you, and while we don't know you nor Alex very well, people might choose sides just because you choose to talk about it.
It sucks being dumped, and I understand that you must be even more hurt because like you said, you're in a strange country and you don't really know what to do now.
There will be many people on that gathering who will understand, and I know we'll help you if you want to get away from all the questions for a while. Just let us know, and we'll fix it =)
I hope the next couple of days will be good, and that those shitty options will turn our to be better than you thought.
Cheers love, and see you soon.
I just read this...I can only offer similar advice to everyone else. Just keep yourself busy- I'm sure your friends will take care of that- I know there'll be plenty of things that will upset you, but I promise you, it does get easier eventually. There are quite a few people who know how you feel, believe me. :)
Kristina,
I know I'm just one commenter among many but please remember that you are still your strong, quirky, original, and beautiful self. You still have your talent, your fans, your own experiences and opportunities. I'm sad to hear that you have to go through this and that it's affecting your time in the UK. Do your best to keep on truckin, to have fun, and to find more Sweeney Todd (and other wonderfully nerdy) places to see. *hugs*
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