Okay. Some things to clear up.
I spoke to Alex for the first time today, which went rather badly, because he was upset about the picture I painted of him in my last blog post.
Nothing I said was untrue, but he thought it was unfair that I didn't add the fact that he did offer to let me stay at his house in September despite everything, so he didn't literally kick me to the curb.
There is no way I'm going to stay at his house, and I'm sure he doesn't want that either, so I opted not to. My parents also offered to fly me home, but I needed to stay to finish my course and get college credit for being here, and I'm also not going to give up on my summer trip abroad to go home and cry under my covers, so naturally I opted out of that option too. I've HAVE options, they're just all shitty. So I chose the option that leaves me here in London, trying to have fun, being constantly reminded that he's not in my life anymore, but really trying to make the best of it. I figure it's the lesser of three evils.
The thing we don't agree on is that he feels there were two options:
1. Break up, right then, like it happened.
2. Him be deceitful and lie and pretend everything is normal and string me along and then break up with me in an email the second I get home on Sep 23, because he felt there were things about our personalities that weren't going to work out in the long term.
I feel there was more than than just those two options, including one where we maybe.. I dunno.. discussed things, but it's fundamentally something we won't agree on, and I can't really say more about it than that.
Basically, I'm just here to report how I'm feeling and what I'm doing. I never intended to make this a breeding ground for Alex-hate (even though it really wasn't; you guys are too nice) or make anyone choose sides or anything immature like that. I do still appreciate everything you've all said to me, though, so don't think I don't appreciate your stories of being able to relate, or enjoy your condolences and advice.
OKAY. FUN PART OF THE BLOG ABOUT MY DAY AND NOT ABOUT BOYS.
Today we went to Leeds castle!
I didn't really know what to expect, never having been to a castle and not knowing a single bit of history about this particular one, but it was BEAUTIFUL. The sprawling grounds, the willow trees, and lakes and the sheer old-ness of the buildings.
Inside was a little more modern than I'd expected, since people were living in it up until 2001 - the drawing rooms were particularly sort of 60's - like.
My favorite part was the library.. all the old books.. I made my friend take a picture of me in front of the book case, which I would show you now but it's still on my camera and I lent my friend Roy my USB cable in exchange for borrowing his battery charger because we have the same camera.
After we were finished exploring the castle we went and got food in the little courtyard, and then we went in the MAZE.
The maze was the best part of the whole day. It looked kind of small from the outside, but I was so wrong. It was huge, and confusing, and I got lost in it for a very long time. It was annoying because there was this sort of stone tower in the middle where the people who's already figured it out could stand and look out over the maze and yell faulty directions at us. Jerks. Haha.
Finally finally finally I made it to the center, and quickly became one of the people shouting out things that sent the rest of our classmates wandering in circles. xD
To get out, there was this creepy grotto beneath the tower that took you through a cavern underneath the maze, and I thought that was the coolest part honestly.
Next we watched a bird show, met an adorable vulture that walked with a swagger named Lurch, and eventually made our way back to the bus where I slept the entire ride home.
I didn't end up going to the Globe tonight, but I'm about to head upstairs to see what everyone else is doing. I leave tomorrow! It's weird! I can't believe I have already been here a month. Can't comprehend that. I'm going to miss this little room.
Oh god. I have to pack.
Days until I leave: 30
Times I've had Indian food: 9
didnt even notice
18 hours ago