I am on the train again, utilizing the free wifi as I watch Edinburgh get smaller and smaller out the window. I really didn't want to leave today. :/
I love this city a lot, I wish I got to spend more time with Liam, I adore Eia's friends and can't wait to hang out with them again in Seattle, and I just was all around having a really nice time for once, despite their apartment's lack of a shower.
Yesterday we woke up and got ready at our leisure (I had to take a bath in this scary tub upstairs that was all long and narrow and looked like a tub that someone would get murdered in - and because of the UK's weird tendency to have different faucets for hot and cold, I either had to scald my head or freeze it to wash my hair; life is hard) before packing up a picnic lunch and walking over to Arthur's seat.
We were all set to do the climb (we just don't HAVE beautiful cliffs like that in America!) and we met up with Liam at the foot of the hill, walked about a hundred feet before we decided the backpack of food was too heavy to carry up that far, and that we were also too hungry to make the climb on an empty stomach. We spread out the blanket and had our picnic lunch on the grass with the cliffs as the backdrop, and enjoyed pasta, potatoes, pepperoni, apples with nutella, pastries and extremely bitter lemonade in the sun, set to the best playlist of music courtesy of Liam's iPod. It was a really fun afternoon, and I'm glad that everyone liked Liam as much as I do. After lunch we were way, way too stuffed to even consider climbing the hill, so we took a few pictures and called it a failed attempt. xD
We went over to Liam's flat instead, where he and I geeked out on dailybooth for awhile while the rest of them played Catchphrase... we joined in eventually and it was a blast. I am a sucker for fun board games, so this was a perfect afternoon for me.
Then Liam had to dash off to work, and I got to experience my first cottage pie. I'm not going to lie.. it wasn't my favorite thing I've ever tried. It was alright, and I can see why people like them, but I thought it needed cheese or something. Haha. Also it reminded me of the chicken pot pies my mom used to make me eat when I was little, and I hated those things. Bleh.
That night we went to a very crowded smelly bar, and then we moved over to Revolution (the same bar I went to with Rosi and Emma). I can't afford to drink there very often (6 pounds for a cocktail!) but DAMN. Eia ordered a mudslide and I had a few sips and it was amazing. I bought a sour apple shot and it was INCREDIBLY SOUR. I guess I got what I paid for.
The guy from the night before kept texting me, and I had really no interest in seeing him again, but I told him vaguely where we were and he found us somehow. I'm starting to think all that literature and clumsy girl stuff was just an act because he was awful the second night - kept trying to make us dance when we were just happy to sit at our table and take dorky drunk pictures and chat - and then when he saw I wasn't interested, he switched right to Katherine and tried to get her to let him come back with us to our flat - no. So we ditched him eventually. Good riddance, British boys. I don't need you in my life.
This morning I went shopping with Eia and Katherine, and I spent a bit too much money (again) but I literally found the PERFECT jacket and the PERFECT boots. Exactly like the ones I've been looking for, for ages. So now I have extra bags to carry home with me to London and probably no more room in my suitcase but IT'S WORTH IT. This jacket is the best. I love it.
OH MY GOD THEN.
We went to this Indian food lunch buffet where it was 6 pounds for all you can eat. BUT. They gave us a free drink AND free ice cream. FREE ICE CREAM.
It was probably the best lunch I have ever had in my life and I will be eternally jealous that Eia and her friends can go back a few more times before they leave Scotland, whereas I will spend the remaining duration of my trip far away from the location that literally was a little piece of heaven called "Red Fort". Scottish people, if you haven't been there, GO. It's on Drummond Street.
Liam suggested it to us and I am so glad. xD
So, even though there is definitely still a boy-shaped hole in the pit of my stomach that I can't seem to shake off, I am starting to feel a bit more like a human being on vacation instead of just a shell dragging myself from place to place. Actually hinting around about it on my blog and talking about it openly has helped me come to terms with it a bit better, but that's probably because I haven't gotten a single rude or judgmental comment from anyone and I hope to keep it that way a bit longer.
In the last week and a half, I have gotten COUNTLESS amounts of good advice from various people, but here a few things that have stuck out.
Good advice #1:
"Remember that you wanted to do this long before the boy came into your life. ;)"
It's true. I applied to study in London because I knew I had loads of friends here and because I became fascinated with the city after doing YouTube for awhile and talking to so many people who live here. Granted I started talking to "the boy" because I knew I'd be coming for the summer; he's not the REASON I'm here. I had just been so used to the idea of spending my summer with him that's it's hard to regain that original sight of what this summer was going to be. I'm slowly gaining that back.
Good advice #2:
"i really, truly believe that you don't entirely know yourself until you've experienced heartbreak and had to relearn how to be alone and be comfortable with who you are."
This obviously isn't GOOD news, because nobody wants to relearn how to be alone and re-develop the ability to feel complete without that person who made them feel complete. I knew I was in love because I haven't just felt like I was losing a person - I still definitely feel like I lost a bit of myself. But I know I am strong enough to rebuild myself into an even better person. Eventually. And while this thought still sounds repulsive to me, I'm sure someday I'll meet someone who won't make me feel like I need to compromise anything to make things work between us.
And if that takes awhile, well, it's like my good friend Mickeleh said: "Misery is a great prod to creativity." Maybe I'll finish my book. :)
Days until I leave: 32
Times I've had Indian food: 8
didnt even notice
18 hours ago