I love this city a lot, I wish I got to spend more time with Liam, I adore Eia's friends and can't wait to hang out with them again in Seattle, and I just was all around having a really nice time for once, despite their apartment's lack of a shower.
Yesterday we woke up and got ready at our leisure (I had to take a bath in this scary tub upstairs that was all long and narrow and looked like a tub that someone would get murdered in - and because of the UK's weird tendency to have different faucets for hot and cold, I either had to scald my head or freeze it to wash my hair; life is hard) before packing up a picnic lunch and walking over to Arthur's seat.
We were all set to do the climb (we just don't HAVE beautiful cliffs like that in America!) and we met up with Liam at the foot of the hill, walked about a hundred feet before we decided the backpack of food was too heavy to carry up that far, and that we were also too hungry to make the climb on an empty stomach. We spread out the blanket and had our picnic lunch on the grass with the cliffs as the backdrop, and enjoyed pasta, potatoes, pepperoni, apples with nutella, pastries and extremely bitter lemonade in the sun, set to the best playlist of music courtesy of Liam's iPod. It was a really fun afternoon, and I'm glad that everyone liked Liam as much as I do. After lunch we were way, way too stuffed to even consider climbing the hill, so we took a few pictures and called it a failed attempt. xD
We went over to Liam's flat instead, where he and I geeked out on dailybooth for awhile while the rest of them played Catchphrase... we joined in eventually and it was a blast. I am a sucker for fun board games, so this was a perfect afternoon for me.
Then Liam had to dash off to work, and I got to experience my first cottage pie. I'm not going to lie.. it wasn't my favorite thing I've ever tried. It was alright, and I can see why people like them, but I thought it needed cheese or something. Haha. Also it reminded me of the chicken pot pies my mom used to make me eat when I was little, and I hated those things. Bleh.
That night we went to a very crowded smelly bar, and then we moved over to Revolution (the same bar I went to with Rosi and Emma). I can't afford to drink there very often (6 pounds for a cocktail!) but DAMN. Eia ordered a mudslide and I had a few sips and it was amazing. I bought a sour apple shot and it was INCREDIBLY SOUR. I guess I got what I paid for.
The guy from the night before kept texting me, and I had really no interest in seeing him again, but I told him vaguely where we were and he found us somehow. I'm starting to think all that literature and clumsy girl stuff was just an act because he was awful the second night - kept trying to make us dance when we were just happy to sit at our table and take dorky drunk pictures and chat - and then when he saw I wasn't interested, he switched right to Katherine and tried to get her to let him come back with us to our flat - no. So we ditched him eventually. Good riddance, British boys. I don't need you in my life.
This morning I went shopping with Eia and Katherine, and I spent a bit too much money (again) but I literally found the PERFECT jacket and the PERFECT boots. Exactly like the ones I've been looking for, for ages. So now I have extra bags to carry home with me to London and probably no more room in my suitcase but IT'S WORTH IT. This jacket is the best. I love it.
OH MY GOD THEN.
We went to this Indian food lunch buffet where it was 6 pounds for all you can eat. BUT. They gave us a free drink AND free ice cream. FREE ICE CREAM.
It was probably the best lunch I have ever had in my life and I will be eternally jealous that Eia and her friends can go back a few more times before they leave Scotland, whereas I will spend the remaining duration of my trip far away from the location that literally was a little piece of heaven called "Red Fort". Scottish people, if you haven't been there, GO. It's on Drummond Street.
Liam suggested it to us and I am so glad. xD
So, even though there is definitely still a boy-shaped hole in the pit of my stomach that I can't seem to shake off, I am starting to feel a bit more like a human being on vacation instead of just a shell dragging myself from place to place. Actually hinting around about it on my blog and talking about it openly has helped me come to terms with it a bit better, but that's probably because I haven't gotten a single rude or judgmental comment from anyone and I hope to keep it that way a bit longer.
In the last week and a half, I have gotten COUNTLESS amounts of good advice from various people, but here a few things that have stuck out.
Good advice #1:
"Remember that you wanted to do this long before the boy came into your life. ;)"
It's true. I applied to study in London because I knew I had loads of friends here and because I became fascinated with the city after doing YouTube for awhile and talking to so many people who live here. Granted I started talking to "the boy" because I knew I'd be coming for the summer; he's not the REASON I'm here. I had just been so used to the idea of spending my summer with him that's it's hard to regain that original sight of what this summer was going to be. I'm slowly gaining that back.
Good advice #2:
"i really, truly believe that you don't entirely know yourself until you've experienced heartbreak and had to relearn how to be alone and be comfortable with who you are."
This obviously isn't GOOD news, because nobody wants to relearn how to be alone and re-develop the ability to feel complete without that person who made them feel complete. I knew I was in love because I haven't just felt like I was losing a person - I still definitely feel like I lost a bit of myself. But I know I am strong enough to rebuild myself into an even better person. Eventually. And while this thought still sounds repulsive to me, I'm sure someday I'll meet someone who won't make me feel like I need to compromise anything to make things work between us.
And if that takes awhile, well, it's like my good friend Mickeleh said: "Misery is a great prod to creativity." Maybe I'll finish my book. :)
Days until I leave: 32
Times I've had Indian food: 8
72 comments:
Yay Kristina, good for you. Every day that boy shaped hole will get smaller and smaller. Make new friends, take in the culture, enjoy the freedom to just be you and do whatever you want!
YAAAAY!
We have a happy Kristina back!
I missed you, and, trust me when i say this on behalf of all the blog readers, it made us sad when you were upset.
Im also glad that you had a yummy lunch (:
There's loads of places like that in London that do Chinese instead of Indian. MY favourite even does a Teppanyaki.
Well, have a good train ride home, and I cant wait for your next post.
Stay safe, love! (:
(Sorry, it had to be said.)
<3
As time goes on, Kristina, these feelings will definitely get a lot more manageable, and then a little while after that, they'll be gone completely.
It's ALWAYS just a matter of time with these things; but your strong will and enduring personality really come through on your videos; I know you are tough enough to do it, even though I don't know you personally. It's just a feeling.
By the way, if you like the countryside of England, you should visit Cornwall! There are a lot of beautiful sights here. Though, I don't know about things to do... it's kind of boring on that front. XD
You always sound excited about Indian food. I think I'm going to have to find a place to try it.
Also, though I don't have much experience with boy-shaped holes (read:none), it sounds as though you're on the road to recovery. Even if it takes a while, I'm sure you'll get there eventually.
i don't think i've ever had indian food.
i too like that you are being able to hint about what happened and open up irl to your friends. talking about things helps. seriously.
<3
I'm glad you're starting to enjoy London more! I hope your new jacket and boots make an appearance in your next video. xD
As Strange as it sounds coming from someone you dont know, I was genuinely worried about you the past few days. But Now I see I needn't worry because Kristina Horner, is strong, strong woman, who is made of win an awesome. And who can definatly make it out of this. And when you come out the other side, you'll have experience so that if it ever happens again, you'll know how to deal with it. I agree with that advice especially the first one. You dont need Alex to have a good time. You can do that on your own. Or with your friends.
And be warned, if your still coming to the Cork YT gathering I WILL hug you. Just to let you know :).
Im Glad you're happier now, and in the next few months that British boy will have no effect on your emotions any more.
Freya
<3
So glad to hear that you're back on track, being helped along by Indian food, free ice cream, awesome purchases and your IRL friends who sound absolutely amazing. And us of course :)
Enjoy the rest of your train journey and try not to miss Edinburgh too much...there's still plenty of fun to be had in England!
Chin up, love
=D
I'm so glad you're remembering why you decided to do the trip in the first place. You're young, free and single in a new city. Honestly, I can't think of anything more terrifying, but fantastic. Of course there are going to be wobbly moments but the amazing moments will more than balance it out, as I hope you've found out in Edinburgh :)
Carry on enjoying it!
I think the most important thing to take from this blog is that you must be made of Indian food by now. Dear lord woman.
Hills like Arthur's seat are exactly what the US is missing. I know it's an amazing place but while I was there, I missed the countryside of home.
Red Fort. Drummond Street. Got it. Will visit next time in Edinburgh.
It's good your able to slowly come to terms with it. It's probably going to be hard for a very long time, especially since your in London. All things get better with time.
People wouldn't be rude to you on your own blog. We're here because we're interested in what you have to say.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this breakup drama while you were on this trip, it will obviously always mar it for you. But really, you are in an amazing place with amazing friends like Rosi and Jazza for example so I'm glad you're up to taking advantage of it. Have a blast and don't write off British boys entirely, who knows what can happen.
I'm glad to see a happier Kristina back. I don't comment much and this may sound weird, but I was getting a bit worried. Enjoy London even in your circumstances and distance from the good pubs. I can't wait to hear what you do there when classes are out of the way.
Have fun, love!
Looks like you at least left Edinburgh with a bang. I think that London will be better because of this weekend. We're glad that you opened up to us. Remember we care for you and we are only a blog post away.
Also I understand you're reluctance to put that information out there. I know that on youtube it will be difficult. We all know how those comments go. Remember we actually care and we will all be there to "thumb down" those asses so you never have to see it.
Kristina, you will learn to forget. Forgive, I don't know cause I don't know what happened, but you will forget in time, and all will be well.
But you are a great person, and you've deserved the last few days you've had. :)
Eventually what you're going through will make you even stronger. I think it's already making you stronger, I can notice that you're acting differently towards this situation, you're stronger, you're focusing on the good things and putting all the bad things behind you. It's great that you're finally doing this :)
A big WELCOME BACK to Kristina Horner, our lovely and strong blogger :) <3
Happy blog makes me happy =) And weirdly enough, I'm very excited for you. I honestly think you're going to have a great time for the rest of your trip =D Oh and I want to see a photo with that jacket and boots_ please? I have a pair of boots I consider perfect too; trust me, pretty clothes have magical powers.
And this is the weird mooshy part of this comment in which I tell you that I honestly believe you're an amazing person, that you make your readers/waters' lives better, and that I KNOW you're going to find someone who will make you insanely happy. You're still very young! Got your whole life ahead of you!
CHEERS LUV xD
I very rarely comment, but I do read your posts and watch your videos regularly. Anyway, I just had to say how grand it is to see a spark of happiness creep back into your blog. Hold on to it tightly. It will be your guiding light through the rough days that are still sure to come (they still do for me, at least). And yes, this experience will positively do wonders for you creativity. Nothing like heartache to awaken the muse :)
Take care and enjoy the rest of your trip.
P.S. My captcha for this comment was "glograg." Now that would be a fun word to define.
It's not just British boys unfortunately :(
I am very glad you are enjoying your time in Britain now though, I think everyone has a someone shaped hole in their stomach at some point, you should fill your with holiday goodness and general Britishness.
Creepy guys scare me. Especially the "Oh, I'm being rejected by this girl, I'll go onto her friend, who is sitting right next to her" ones, I just don't understand the logic and insensitivity of it. It is silly. I'm male and I don't understand this.
Still, the brilliance of British beauty should put the bounce back into your step. Happy times.
Kristina, when my heart was broken, all I could think was 'I hope it never stops hurting'. Ridiculous, I know. I was 14, though, so it's ok.
You are being so strong here and so mature and so frekin SENSIBLE! I am impressed and harbour a lot of respect for you.
You know it'll get better, and anyway, remember that time is just a window, not a road. You know you WILL be fine, so really you ARE fine. All you need is to wait for your heart to know it too.
I hope that made sense. I just read an book where the main character goes on and on about time.
And remember: don't cry because it's over, smile because it happenned. I don't know how applicable that is for you, but regret and bitterness can burn a jagged hole in you which takes much longer to heal than the boy-shaped one.
I'm really glad that you've had a good few days.I'm sure the boy shaped hole will get smaller and smaller everyday.enjoy yourself,love! :P
I don't have any good advice to give, but a link to something that should make you smile (:
http://www.wordle.net/show/wrdl/1063838/italktosnakes_blog_%28%3A
I wish I could relate to what you're going through, but unfortunately I can't. However, I know your strong and it will get better over time. Hopefully Edinburgh reminded you that the U.K is an awesome place and not to let a certain boy ruin it. Free ice cream?! Let me in on that deal.
All of us who read your blog love you and I can speak for myself at least when I say that I'm glad your feeling better.
Oh my gosh, this reading this made me so hungry! I'm glad things are looking up :D
Kristina, I've been a bit scared to comment as I have NO IDEA how to say this, but "the boy" is an idiot. You're brilliant and gorgeous and I'm beyond jealous of you. Keep living it up <3
I don't usually comment on your blog 'cos I read through an RSS Feed via livejournal, but I felt like I should come over here and offer up some tangible support today. You're an incredibly strong person, Kristina, and I very much admire you for it. I've had a similar situation happen while living abroad [except the boy was one who'd come with me from the US] and it's not easy to stay there, trying to recreate what you'd imagined would be an amazing experience, now ruined.
But, it gets better [as I'm sure you know], and you have the right idea with trying to get back to the mindset of the trip before "the boy."
I love that you're recommending little places to go in the UK. I'll be there in three weeks, so I'm taking in all of your comments and observations to hopefully put them to good use.
<3
hi, kristina! i've been reading your blog for a while but never commented (i am a 5ag fan and was excited to see that you had a blog, too).
but now i want to comment b/c i love reading your blog and it made me sad to hear that you've been struggling with a "boy-shaped hole in your heart." i've been there and i know it sucks. but give it time and it gets better. surround yourself with friends and fun distractions (you're in England!), it gets better.
i know i don't know you, but i'm glad to hear that you're enjoying your trip again. yay for free ice cream!! that makes everything better.
I don't comment very often, but you need a hug, so I am giving you an e-hug, comment style.
I love you so much. And I'm not talking about italktosnakes. I love Kristina.
I'm glad you've been hinting about things in your blog, because I swear, writing about "Justin Timberlake" was incredibly therapeutic and seriously aided my healing process.
Keep breathing. Find other ways to have fun.
I miss you. <3
My best advice would be to fill the stupid hole in the pit of your stomach with British chocolate. Just sayin'. :)
Glad to have you back, Kristina Horner.
Cheers, love.
i went through what you are going through a while ago, it was after being together for 9 months, and i can really relate to 'Good Advice #2'. It was so hard trying to relearn how to be alone but trust me, time heals ALL wounds. it will get better :)
your meals sound so divine! would be so good to get photos of them :)
I definitely had to google what cottage pie was. Say, did you know that the term cottage pie is known to have been in use in 1791, when potato was being introduced as an edible crop affordable for the poor (cf. "cottage" meaning a modest dwelling for rural workers)?
Now, I wouldn't have ever learned that fact IF you hadn't studied abroad in England, or dated the-heart-hole-boy, or stopped seeing said boy, thus having to improvise something fun to do this weekend in Ed-in-bro, where you first tried the aforementioned dish, which you proceeded to blog about, which I proceeded to read like the good little fanboy I am.
See? Something good comes out of everything!
/dork /rant.
Cheers, love!
you're awesome. just enjoy (!)
I went to Europe spontaneously after breaking up w/ the girl I loved. It was hard on me, but when I came to Europe, everything changed. I fell in love with life again.
I might have to try Indian food again if it can be that good! xD
Glad to hear you've perked up a bit, if not a lot. Also, I'd rather like to see a picture of this perfect jacket - without sounding like a creep, of-course. Booth it!
Have a good evening, love. xP
As time goes by you'll feel better, and the hole will get smaller and smaller until it disapears. I'm happy you remembered all the other reasons you went to London. glad your okay cheers lovee :P
i'd like to pat you on the back in a congratulary sort of way (not a creepy way, i wouldn't like, stroke it... um, yeah) for overcoming parts of this bizzare trip of yours.
as much as i can see that you hate parts of your life right now, it would make for a mighty good novel you know. my favourite part would be the scotland-boy-bar scene ^_^
keep it up, LOVE xD
From reading your blog, it seems like your trip didn't live up to your expectations, and this drama with the boy didn't help. However, it seems like you're concentrating on the happy things rather than the un- happy things, which is good.
It also seems like you're growing closer to your class mates and forming strong friendships with them, which will help A LOT. Weather or not you have a good experience or a bad experience depends not only one the circumstances but also on the people your with and how good of friends you are.
I don't mean to sound mean when I say this, but I think one reason you were so unhappy on this trip is because you were concentrating so much on seeing your internet friends that live there that you didn't think of anything else and thus you were unhappy when you weren't with them. But it seems like you're making friends with your group, and trust me, these friends will last a lifetime.
I'm glad you are feeling a bit better; I'm so sorry that London has been slightly less then awesome for you so far. I have been living in Greator London for two years whilst at school and I really enjoy it, I hope that you have a great time in your remaining days here :)
Hello Kristina
I've been reading your blog for quite some time now. I live in Belgium and every morning I like to look at your blog and see what is going on in america/london. I've also been to edinburgh and it was amazing! I loved it so much and can't wait to go back one day. Oh and in london, try to visit exceter. I think you'll like it if you like edinburgh.
Now I have one question, maybe a stupid redundant (do you write it like that?) question. But did you break up with Alex? I haven't seen it literally in this blog I don't think. But some things imply it like al the people telling you you can have fun without alex and whatnot.
I just like to stay informed :Ã
Seriously jealous of your all you can eat indian - it sounded amazing! You should come visit Belfast when you're in Ireland, it's pretty cool and my campus (Queens Uni) is stunning, very Harry Potter-ish! :) Hope you feel better, use your remaining time to enjoy yourself to the MAX and you'll be able to go back to Seattle feeling like a rejuvenated young woman!
xo
i never comment on your blogs, which i admit is semi-creepy but i thought this would be a good opportunity to start.
you are a lovely person and have progressed so much more than most people would in your situation. enjoy the rest of your trip, you won't get this time back in a foreign land!
cheers, love xx
Kristina, I feel kindof creeper commenting since you don't know me & yet I watch your videos & read yoru blog, but I just wanted to say... I'm glad you're slowly starting to fill up that boy-shaped hole. I'm glad you have such awesome friends who are helping you through. You're so strong Kristina, and your honesty is just so admirable. Keep your chin up, lovely! I'm really looking forward to seeing that overpriced but gorgeous jacket soon ;)
the one time you came to scotland and i never got to see the wonder that is kristina, sigh. promise to come back? you don't have to eat cottage pie, i promise ^o^
don't worry, be happy.
xax
Oh kristina.... Your so amazing! I truly mean it. I honestly hope you have really good days like some of the ones you've been having. I can't give you any good advice but I can say that I sincerely do mean it when I say I hope you start feeling 100%. ;D
cheers, luv! xx
It seems so weird to me that you have never had Indian before and that its such a treat for you...i live in an area in Canada (Vancouver, BC) where Indian food is such a norm. If when you come home and your jonesing for some indian you should drive the two hours up and get some.
Im glad that you're having a good time and rebuilding.
Kristina! It's nice to know that you're having the kind of fun that you were supposed to be having all along =) Also, I know you probably don't think you're very strong right now, but you are. You really are Kristina Horner. A lot of people would have stayed on the sulking path, but you took the high road by trying to make the best of your situation. To quote Kanye West (I know, I know... laugh all you want but) "That don't kill can only make me stronger."
And LOL! at your tag.
HUGS <3
I wondered why there wasn't a 'boy' featured in your blog... Enjoy your trip away. I'm glad you've allowed yourself a 'mourning' period and are now enjoying it a little more. Boys seems to find foreign girls easier than girls in their hometown is what I've learnt from seeing foreign exchange students and on my last holiday without parents / staying in hostels.
I'm sorry about the boy... it will get better. Like you said, there will be someone who will fit you completely and you never know where you will find him. :)
You are in England, be adventurous and have a fabulous time.
i think you're awesome.
I don't know if I'm more impressed by how wonderfully you are coping with this, and just how awesome you are in general, or by what a great crowd of commentors you've attracted. I just text searched "that boy"'s name, and not one person has spoiled it...and I don't think I've seen a single non supportive comment this whole time.
you're so strong. it really is such an inspiration. i hope that when something similar happens to me, i can handle it as well as you.
In a way, I think it's good (okay, well not GOOD, but maybe 'fitting' or 'slightly positive') that you are having these boy troubles. Not because of the "troubles" aspect, because trouble is never good and you being depressed isn't good either. But now you can focus on something you've wanted to do your whole life: experience the UK, see the culture, get a taste for what it's like going to school in another country. I'm sure you realize how lucky you are to have this opportunity, and it definitely seems like you're putting it to good use and not letting it go to waste.
Think about what you would've done a year or two ago, before any of this boy drama, back when you just wanted to experience a new culture. Well, you're there now, so live it up! You'd be pretty foolish to let this go to waste.
I'm really glad to hear that you're on the road to recovery :) You sound much happier today and that's amazing! Yay for you!
Although I have 0 experience with "boy-shaped holes", I'm sure that with time, you'll feel a whole lot better. Just keep reminding yourself why you went on your trip and that you don't need a boy for you to be you.
Hang in there and DFTBA ;)
<3
I'm sorry, I just left a comment here, and then I had to delete it because I was afraid I was un-intentionally being rude.
I don't know either of you, really, but somehow I feel like my best friend is the one suffering from heartbreak. Maybe my heart is trying to take some of your pain away by making me feel it. And I am willing to do that for you!
Anything to ease the suffering. <3
I'm happy that you are trying to follow your friend's advice, and that you're still managing to have fun.
I don't know how this came about, I don't know who did what and why, but I know (from reading this blog) that you are strong, and you can get over it. I also know that that can take a while, so for now, I will try to telepathically send you the strength to just have fun.
You have 32 more days to have the time of your life. Don't stress. You have time.
You have my best wishes.
(also, I don't want to sign my name in these comments anymore. I feel bad writing it here.)
I believe 100% that any meal that includes ice cream is the answer to all of life's problems. Especially problems that involve boy-shaped holes. The thought of finding someone else may still seam repulsive, but honestly that shouldn't be on your mind. Focus on the real reasons you're in London, and enjoy every minute of it or you'll regret it when you get back to the states.
Once my friends and I had gone to this place for an all you can eat buffet and we got so stuffed. The food was obviously Indian. The worst part was that for desert they had this chocolate truffle which we were hogging on so much that they ended up keeping this dude to serve us (in order to limit how much we take). And what was even worse was that this place was on the terrace of the 13th floor of the building and I just couldn't eat any more because the height was sickening...
THERE WAS UNLIMITED CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE!!! And this Indian sweet thing. You should try Indian sweets. They are awesome. Mostly milk based, but definitely awesome.
The place you went to was called 'Red Fort' which is actually the name of this monument here in India, from where the Prime Minister addresses the nation on Independence day. Lolz.
And regarding the boy.
Well, you said it. You aren't there because of him. You're there for you and from the looks of it, you're having a pretty great time. And there doesn't seem to be dearth of people loving/appreciating (and edging on worshiping) you. So chin up. You're AWESOME and you know it.
Kristina, you are such an inspiration to me.
And I don't mean that like I would mean it if I were to say it to an ice cream man. Because even though I highly admire people who serve ice cream to other people, I admire you more.
And that's saying something.
So many girls would completely collapse under the stress of what you've been through, but you've become stronger than ever.
I'm so happy that you're feeling better.
<3
60 comments? Usually when I comment there's like 5 :') Mind you, was online once yesterday (vair proud of myself).
The good thing about boy problems is afterwards, you're always better at seeing the whole of a person, and not just the side they show everyone. And when you see how much your friends are there for you, the hole always seems a lot smaller and less important. What's one boy to lots of good friends?
I'm really glad you're happy again! But I'm kind of jealous, I've been out of the UK once in my life, when I was 4 or 5, and I still haven't been to London or Scotland! Or Ireland, but that could change soon, wahey.
Keep enjoying yourself, love (:
Hey Kristina, I'm a first time commenter and I just wanted to say I'm glad to see you're feeling better! And I'm sorry about your heartbreak! <3
Wow that picture is great,and the landscape looks amazing!
Hope you're doing better, and that you're having more good days than bad. And of course that you enjoy the rest of your time in London.
LOL on your tag. I think you'd have to have Indian Food every day for the rest of your trip to catch up to Hayley's burrito count! ;P
Glad you're feeling a bit better, and I hope things start looking up for you on the rest of your trip.
We love you!
<3
FREE ICE CREAM!!
Thanks for taking the time to write about your trip! I know you're probably doing it to record things for yourself, but I really enjoy reading it. I would love to visit the UK/anywhere. *grumble money grumble*
I'm so glad you seem to be feeling better. I know it's hard, especially under the circumstances. You've handled everything amazingly. And I have tremendous respect for you for that.
Hope you have a good time in London!
if you ever go to nottingham there a all you can eat chinese place :)
for....£5.50!!!!
bargin or what! :D
thats includes puddings starters and main courses! the lot :)
The two things I wanted to say to you while reading this entry:
1. That IS good advice. And I know you'll pull through. :)
2. Can we see the jacket and boots? Pictures, maybe?
Keep enjoying your trip!
Hooray for yet another comment from someone you don't know! Just wanted to say that I feel so awful that you had/are having a rough time during your study abroad, and I'm glad things are starting to look up a bit. I studied in Ireland for a semester in college and despite the inevitable down times I had, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I hope you're able take everything wonderful that you can from this, and that you'll be able to look back on it in the future with fondness. :) Cheesy as that sounds.
I have no idea why someone would be rude to you. This is your place to vent and I know exactly how you feel. Probably not exactly but I've definitely had a boy shaped hole before. Just try and stay happy! So many people < than 3 you!
When I was going through my first heart-break I got some great advise from my dad. I was talking to him about it and at one point said, "I just miss him so much!" And my dad said, "It isn't him you miss, but the experience of yourself the way you were when you were with him... and that's something you can have again" And although I didn't want to hear it at the time, it was totally true.
So, hang in there and soon enough you'll meet someone who will open you up to that experience of yourself again :)
Same thing happened to me, Kristina. Only that I live in Germany any my boyfriend at the time was an american. I travelled 6000km to see him. The week I spent at his house (out of 4, which ended up being 5 as my flight was delayed for a WEEK), HE was almost always gone, he didn't even sleep at his house, but decided to leave me with his parents, sisters and their husbands, neices and nephews. All that for telling me 4 days into my stay that he's just not as in love with me as he thought he was. We had been dating for a year and been friends for 2 years as I was an exchange student in 05-06 at the High School he went to. My summer of 2007 was the most horrible thing that had ever happened to me and I did the same thing you did - I travelled. To Denver with my hostfamily, whom I stayed with all summer. Now, we talk again every once in a while and I even saw him a couple of weeks ago (DON'T DO THAT. don't go back and see him. it'll all come back and make you feel miserable again. it's not worth it!) as I am back in the US for 6 weeks. Well, 5 weeks are over already and I can't wait to get home, either... I really feel with you and I KNOW that everything will solve itself in that matter. It shapes you as a person. It builts character! You're part of a play called life and just like other people suffered though its pages, you too will come out okay.
Wow, I don't know where that just came from.
Much love,
~Marie
Wow sorry that was awfully long.
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