Thursday, May 14, 2009


So I have this homework assignment where I have to make up a hypothetical family and write a paper about them and their lives, and then plan a food budget for them living at the poverty threshold, and see if I can actually make a balanced proper meal for this family with minimal amounts of money to do so.

I am making Alex help me with this assignment and we are taking it ENTIRELY too far.

We live in a split level home in a suburb 20 miles outside of Seattle are now the proud parents of a 16 year old girl named Olive and an 11 year old boy named Lyle. Alex is a freelance writer and musician and I work in marketing. We make collectively $19,806 a year and according to my calculations, have approximately $58 a week to spend on food for a family of four. Which isn't a lot.

I blamed this on the fact that he hadn't written an album in years and he blamed it on my shitty low end marketing job. I said "at least I HAVE a job." We then bickered over the fact that Olive is 16 and doesn't have a job, and Alex said she just sits on the computer all day, and I said she learned it from her father, and then I yelled at him for not using the lawnmower I got him for Christmas because he never leaves the house and makes poor Lyle do the mowing.

We then realized we were having our first hypothetical real life married fight and cracked up and I'm back to working on the assignment and he's doing something on his laptop. (Just like the future, me working while he goes online. Typical.)

I asked him, "Is this what it's going to be like?"


Anonymous said...
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molly said...

haha this made me lolllll
i actually had a friend called olive once

disasterpastor45 said...

I don't think splitting a Happy Meal 4 ways is gonna work on a daily basis.

Word Verification: cherre

Anonymous said...

that is so cool man! Haha its funny how you had like a virtual married fight about the income and olive!

disasterpastor45 said...

Example as a single person:
I need:
$8/day for food
$5/day for stuff (tp,paper towels, books, batteries, daily stuff)
$1/day for laundry on $1.25 machines
$1/day for clothes purchases
$1/day for co-paid prescriptions/pills, vitamins, health books
$4/day for TV,phone,internet
$2-$3/day for bus pass/gas
$20-$30/day for rent, 1 bedroom urban areas
$2/day electricity

So far, $25/day + rent and mostly my life is worth $5/day plus tv & internet.

becca87 said...

This positively made my night haha =] Thank you for that.

Anonymous said...

The hypothetical daughter made me think, if you do have kids, would you be nagging at them to spend less time on the computer. Because as a vlogger, blogger, internet uber being, you will really know what it's like to spend time on the internet. (That sounds really rude, I'm not saying you don't do anything else because you don't). But surely you and loads of YouTubers will be more accepting to their children spending a lot of time on the internet as it's a massive part of your life, or it will have been.

P.S I think you should keep vlogging/blogging/wrocking until you're really old like Geriatric1927 XD

Sorry the comment's so long.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like me and CJ I do the 9-5 desk job and he does youth work and leading activities like archery at a local outdoor centre. When he's not doing those he writes webpages.

Matt said...

It’s great that you can travel to the future and see how things turned out for your hypothetical future selves. Kind of like, “Back to the Future part II”?

Happily, you can take some simple steps between now and then to improve things. Time invested now in getting Alex to consider a better paying line of work, like Law, Finance, or even IT is bound to pay dividends.

If you insist on being poor, you could consider where is the best place to live in which to be poor. An American I know living in the UK says the UK is a better place to be poor because of the National Health Service. This means for example that if each of the 5 children you’re going to have (as the song says) requires delivery by Caesarean, the state will happily pay for all of this costly surgery without you needing to pay out personally for medical insurance. This is probably also one of the reasons for the emphasis here on natural delivery if possible!

Having said that, if you are really going to have 5 children you’ll need the support of family – presumably yours are in Seattle so that would be a good reason for living there.

But anyway you are both intelligent and articulate people so I’m sure a future of poverty is not one you have to worry about too much!

AlanDistro said...

I love you guys.

Emzi said...

That's fun homework. I didn't know there was something like that.

Elizabeth... said...

This just made my day. Hypotheticals often provide entertainment and here is a prime example!

Anonymous said...


i don't really have anything else to say. that made me laugh a lot.

The Blazing Snow said...

Wow, you guys are awesome o.0

And, wow, fun homework o.0

Hope all's good, Kristina ^_^ (Y)

(Word verification is Sperg ... it doesn't even mean anything, it's just something you shout out ... SPEEEEEEEERG!!!)

Oceansurferg said...

That was just what I needed today before I left for school :)

the_who_ru said...

Lol, I really needed cheering up like that, so thanks!

I wish I could get homework like that. Unfortunately, it's all revisionrevisionrevision from now until the 17th of June. I might just have to make something like that up in my head to keep me sane through the exams. :)

Thomas Close said...

Haha! My best friend and I had an argument similar to this recently. Funny thing is that we're still "mad" at each other because neither one of us would agree to disagree. :)

Brad said...

Hypothetical Alex needs to go work at Burger King or something. A lawn mower for Christmas though? If hypothetical Alex gave hypothetical Kristina a mop for Mother's day, he'd be sleeping on the hypothetical couch. Just saying.

$58 a week for food? Well, you would have a very beautiful, THIN family.

Genevieve said...

Wow, that made me laugh so much! I haven't had an argument w/my boyfriend about hypothetical life like that but I can imagine it happening!

janitorbud said...

that actually made me laugh out loud.

Raven Zoe said...

Yes. haha

SpinachPuffs said...

Awwww you two are so sweet and hilarious at the same time :)

DARAKELLY&*; said...

Ahahaa, you are hilarious (:

Anonymous said...

Hee, hypothetical future Alex & Kristina make me lol

Anonymous said...

Food Stamp Nutrition Connection: Recipes Finder

Your homework reminded me of this.
I bookmarked it last September and then never went back.

Kailyn said...

Still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. Hmmm. Does this vlog skit potential? I think it could. ;) Get crazy fabulous people to play your kids. . . Charlie could be Lyle! ;)

Seriously, you guys rock. Don't forget to stream the hypothetical wedding on blogtv like you promised!

Verification: ingly