I am sitting in the artsy indie art cafe at my University again. I always feel like a faker in here, even though I LOOK alright with my shortish hair, floppy sweater and my mac computer. Ha. how little I care about what "appearance" I have makes me wonder if these leather jacket/beret wearing/rolled up jeans tea drinkers think I'm an intruder in their cafe or something.
I ran into an old friend from highschool and it was the strangest experience.
Even though I never had any sort of romantic crush on this guy, he always made me nervous because he was one of the leading people in the whole "indie retro arty philosophy book reading coffee shop" types. I always felt like he was psychoanalyzing me and just being around him made all of my nervous flaws just feel very exposed. I enjoyed talking to him; we were on the newspaper together and he wrote in my section, which was Opinion (I was an editor) but gah. It was just a lot of WORK being around him. I always felt awkward. Not hip enough. Not blasé enough.
Anyway, the point of the story is I ran into him down here in the art cafe (figures) and we had a nice little chat that felt completely normal and fine. We found out we have a class together next quarter which is nice.
So I dunno what changed in the 3 years since highschool. Either I got more hip, or less awkward/nervousy, or care less in general how people view me or something.
Or maybe HE changed. Maybe he was really judgmental/trying to be an anomaly and now he's just a guy reading a book in a cafe.
Well whatever it is, I think it's in part because I know my life is awesome and that I have been doing things so I have nothing to prove. Or something.
Either way, "Mushaboom" is playing (Feist <3) and I am mouthing along the words and writing in my blog instead of working on a paper WOOO.
not here to make friends
1 day ago