Thursday, January 29, 2009

rawrrawr.

I am having one of those nights.

At work I just got ridiculously, unstoppably grumpy. I was angry at everyone, and no matter what a patron wanted, it felt like they specifically wanted it just because they knew it would piss me off.

I was fully aware how dramatic I was being, and was outwardly laughing at myself, but I also think I was speaking in capslock all night.

Then I came home and realized the SOURCE of my pent up anger, which is the Japanese Art History midterm I had put off studying for until tonight. I was being a trooper and working my way through it until I got an email saying that some paperwork I thought I'd completed had been done wrongly and that I have to redo it, and then I just LOST IT again.

Haha I think my whole house is wondering why I am yelling about everything.
At least I can acknowledge that I am being a brat. I DONT CARE. I'M GRUMPY.

Also, I am just frustrated with college. Today in my global youth class we were talking about whether Education has intrinsic value, or if our time and money spent at college is more valuable instrumentally.
If I could just accept that my education is an instrument, then I suppose everything would be fine. I could keep doing the University dance until I graduate in 2010. But doesn't that seem a waste?
I WANT my education to have intrinsic value. I want to be learning things because learning things is important and will help me. I don't work hard and therefore get poorer grades when I feel I am only working toward a degree and that individual grades/classes dont matter. That's DEPRESSING. Is higher education purely instrumental?

The day I can hop on a plane/boat/train/hovercraft and just go gain my own knowledge of things on this beautiful, beautiful planet will be a very happy day in my life.

3 comments:

Manda said...

hey kristina!
i know i'm just a random to you ... but I've been casually reading your blog and watching your stuff on youtube for a while. Hi! I'm amanda...

anyways! i had to comment because I do think education has intrinsic value. not in a universal sense, but in the context of western society knowledge is important. knowledge is power, and gives you the opportunity to get more power through work and money and all the wonderful things that society offers lol ... ever read foucault? well, don't - but read someone elses synopsis on foucault's theory of knowledge and power.

also its not even the knowledge... its the bit of paper you get at the end that signifies all the knowledge you have acquired. i have two of these pieces of paper, and even though no one else seems to know exactly how i got them, they respect them nonetheless.

thus! go kristina go! do the university dance!

x

itsnotproper said...

I particularly enjoyed the image I got from thinking about us hoping on a hovercraft to another country.

I think you know which country.

Maybe in another year that will be a very real possibility.

uberfrau said...

I think the value of university education is the context it teaches you, that I think adds depth to new life experiences and whatever. I don't know if that made sense. The point is not really the degree-but the intellectual training behind it.
Also, university life is super fun. My university friends are still my closest friends ten years on.