Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Trials of the free coke

I should be either:
a) asleep
b) reading "White Teeth" by Zadie Smith for my summer course in London.

I am not doing either of these things.

I am charging my iPod Touch and basically sitting here choosing to write a blog entry about seemingly nothing instead.

I have been working all week, which is a strange contrast to the last few weeks, in which I hardly worked at all, and the rest of the summer in which I am taking leave for England and casting my job off into the dust.
This is subscription mailing week so I have literally spent 12 hours already stuffing tickets into envelopes, and have 6 more hours to go tomorrow.

There was this creepy guy who worked at the adjoining restaurant for a long time; for the sake of privacy let's call him Artemis. Artemis would wander into the theatre and look at brochures just long enough to find an excuse to ask me how I am doing and make eyes at me and things. Then once he brought a small child to the show and said some really creepy things like "this is my SPECIAL FRIEND, I need good seats for us," and while I already wasn't interested in the slightest, I am DEFINIETLY not interested in would-be pedophiles so I was happy to hear he'd either left or hadn't worked in a long time.

Today my manager comes back to the box office from getting a coke and says "New guy over there wants you to go over and flirt with him. He'll give you free pop."

I have no interest in flirting, but I have every interest in free things, so I was like "Heck yes, going!"

I waltz in and say "Who is the new guy?" A blonde, rather cheeky looking fellow swaggers over and I put my hands up. "This is a completely flirting-free encounter. I am here on a matter of thirst."

"Oh really," he says. "How come your manager said you always used to come over and flirt with Artemis? I've been here three weeks already and I've never seen you once. What's wrong with me?"

Okay. Now. The story is all messed up at this point. I have NEVER, NOT ONCE in my life walked into that restaurant and flirted with anyone. That is 100% a falsity. I don't know which one of them is lying to me, I don't know who set me up, I don't know what my manager would get out of the situation if she told him that, I don't know how I am still going to get out of this with a free coke, so boy was I happy when he randomly brought up Harry Potter.

"Have you seen the movie?" he asked me, gesturing toward the shirt of the person standing nearby.

"Last night!" I replied proudly.

"You didn't dress up, did you?" His eyes were narrowing.

I smirked at him. "Oh yeah."

His features shifted completely from totally interested to highly disappointed. He pulls out the tap and fills a cup with ice and coke. I reach for my dollar.

"No charge," he says, albeit defeated.

"Nice to meet you!" I sang, skipping out the door.



Harry Potter. Making boys lose interest in girls since 1997. xD

29 comments:

mark said...

just call harry potter your screening process.
right away filters out the guys that would never work.

shecaptain said...

It's a nice way to weed out the ones who aren't worth the trouble. :D

Emily said...

Yes! When Harry Potter is your boyfriend (or second boyfriend), you can get ALL the creeps to stop hitting on you! I mean, even having a REAL boyfriend doesn't do it quite like Harry does. ;]

God's Rock Angel said...

We are going to HP on Saturday and I am stupidly excited!

I'm in two minds to dress up lol. I'm going with my Mum, my brother, his semi-girlfriend and me - going to book tickets this evening so then I can be a little more excited!

VicMorrowsGhost said...

"Harry Potter; Making boys lose interest in girls since 1997"

I propose an edit.

"Harry Potter; Making fools lose interest in the awesome girls since 1997*"

*and the single nerd boys would like to thank him for that.

flitwicks_choirgirl said...

That's my new favourite saying right there.

natasha.self said...

White Teeth is set where I live - (shamefully I've never actually read it...) Wasn't till that book that my mum realised our local video shop that she'd taken me in as a baby also dealt drugs over the counter. Duh mummy! Enjoy Engaaaaland.

KaraDawlish said...

Hahaha yOur life is so random!
That just made me respect you so much more than i already do lol if that legit played out like that then your amazing xD

Ravenclaw2313 said...

I agree with VicMorrowsGhost. I'm a fan of using Potter interest to weed out the worthless.

said...

LOL that last sentence rocked xD And it's so true, hahaha.

Katy said...

*looks at birth certificate*

... see, I never even had the chance! I was born in 1992!

AWhatFighter? said...

Haha. I would say it's a nice way to pick which ones are worth your time, but all the guys I know that like Harry Potter are really annoying. Lucky me...

Olivia said...

Hahahaha.

What a creep.

Elayne said...

On the contrary, my infatuation with Potter drew my boyfriend in. :D

/nerdboy

Sarah with an H said...

Ick, both of those guys were bad. WHO HIRES THESE PEOPLE?!?!

Ah, Harry Potter, the Ultimate filtering system.

April said...

I live for free Coke. It’s no coincidence that my blog’s url is freecokeforlife.blogspot.com. Needless to say, I freaked when I saw the title of this post.

seurat2 said...

Wow, that was easy. You wouldn't got rid of me that easily, but of course I like Harry Potter. Free coke for the win! Although I would have a coke zero, I'm addicted to that stuff.

Katy said...

Hahahahaha. You rock. Period.

annaface said...

I was looking at slogans on Type Tees today and found one that said:
"Harry Potter: making girls unattractive to boys since 1997".

Coincidence? I think not.

Kiera Jo said...

Hahahahahahaha. Love it. Harry Potter is SO useful in SO many settings. :) That story just basically made my day. Thanks for that, Kristina.

I totally dressed up for the premier too--I had a crazily complicated Bellatrix getup. (There is a picture here: http://dailybooth.com/KieraJo/609964)I posted a bunch of photos of it to my facebook page because I have a lot of HP friends on there, but I forgot that I also have a lot of co-workers on my friend list who don't understand how deep my obsession really goes...this morning at work apparently everyone was talking about my pictures before I got there...awkward.

Callidora said...

These comments are amazing. If a guy can't understand HP then he's not worth it. It's good to know where everyone stands on HP so that no one is shocked when the the truth comes out.

Scott said...

hahahaha.

@VicMorrowsGhost Amen to that.

JuliAnn said...

Oh goodness this made me laugh! lol...

I am storing this one into one of the filing cabinets in my brain... so I don't forget it...

dftba

Ben said...

i don't know anyone who likes Harry Potter or anything nerdy. I'm the odd one out. I need someone to talk about these things with. Especially now that the sixth film is out. But none of my friends care. :( major suckage :(

*Luca* said...

oH GOD, that has happened to me so MANY times! But as someone said, it filters out the guys who would never work...and sometimes the ones that stick around are the BEST ones :D

janitorbud said...

lololol loved it

Anonymity said...

haha :) i was born in 1997 ;) and i think harry potter BEASTS twilight any day. ANY DAY.

Anonymity said...

haha :) i was born in 1997 ;) and i think harry potter BEASTS twilight any day. ANY DAY.

Alex Dahlberg said...

hahahah thats hilarious! That guy is such a decepticon. Judging you for dressing up for harry potter.
It was a great way to get your free coke though :P