Tuesday, July 7, 2009

One more sappy one.

My last day in North Dakota went super fast. My mom and I slept on my grandma's pull out couch (after going to sleep at 2 AM.. it was fun sneaking around with my mom in HER mom's house xD). We got up and my grandma made us breakfast (no caramel rolls... I was disappointed. My grandma makes the best caramel rolls in the world). Then we saw my cousin Loni for a bit (she's pregnant) and then dashed off to the mall.

We wanted to get a little shopping time in at Herberger's because we don't have that store back in Washington. It was serious power shopping (I got a lot of nice things and we were only there for a half hour) and even though I spent a little more money than I meant to, I justified it by saying the clothes are for London. So.. there.

Also I got a new purse! I have been using the same purse for 2 years straight now.

(I am going to pause here to say I'm at the airport, and I thought the lady next to me had been talking to me for the last two minutes but then she turned her head and she had a stupid bluetooth earpiece in. I HATE THOSE.)

Then we met my mom's best friend Abby for lunch and it was really nice to see her getting to chat with a friend she's known since high school about "all the stupid things they used to do" and "how great it was to see each other"... and then I started realizing that they have only gotten to see each other every few years or so for the past 20 years, and how horrible that would be if I didn't live near Eia or Liz any more and just had to catch up with them at a restaurant every three years... then Alex and I had a tiny argument about nothing in an email exchange and that in combination with thinking about how sad it is when people move away from their friends and family had me crying in the bathroom of the Ground Round for about 10 minutes. Just out of nowhere.
I think the crying was more from me not getting much sleep and having to leave everyone that afternoon (my flight left at 6:50 pm) but man. I have cried a lot on this trip.

I guess the biggest thing is that North Dakota means SO MUCH to me. I was born here, I spent summer vacations here... if you read through any writing I have ever done they are ALWAYS set in small towns like the ones my grandparents live in. These trips are always such a great escape from my normal life and I really do love my family and its history. But this trip was so different.
My grandpa is getting older and it's hard on him and my grandma. My aunts and uncles and my dad are probably going to talk them into selling the big house he and my grandma live in.. the one we've all been gathering in year after year. Once they don't live there anymore, we wont have any reason to go back to Linton.
A lot of my cousins (around my age) are pregnant. Or were pregnant and now have babies.
I wouldn't be surprised if our trips to North Dakota in the future are for funerals. I don't want to think about that.
It felt so different here this year. It feels like the end of an era or something.

I don't really know what the point of all this is. I'm only musing. It was just a very bittersweet trip. I'm a huge proponent of the things I love not changing and it feels like it's all changing very quickly.

Also, my grandparents are adorable and still very much in love even after all these years and with my grandpa's inability to take care of myself, and even though it is hard on my grandma (seeing her struggling made me want to cry too) I only hope some day I can be like them. I decided this weekend that someday, I want to be able to celebrate a 50th wedding anniversary. You don't see many of those anymore. I want one. They had one, a few years back.

I mean, even if I don't get married until I'm 30, I only have to live to 80 for that to happen. :)

16 comments:

Sajethegirl said...

I'm glad I stayed up to see this. It's 11:45 here.
I'm glad you had a good trip, and I know what you mean about the end of an era. But it could be the beginning of a new one too.

Rebecca L said...

you'll get earlier than 30 I bet ;)

brookerochelle said...

I would love to have a 50th Anniversary. I looked it up and the oldest living married couple have been married for 84 years. Isn't that CRAZY wonderful?!

Katie said...

50th anniversary...puts a lot of pressure on Alex! Ruh roh. ;P

Kaitlyn w/ a K said...

I want a 50th wedding anniversary too! Hardly anyone gets one anymore.

Melody said...

My parents have been married for almost 45 years (yes, they are old... I'm the youngest of 8 and the oldest child is about 40) but they don't seem very IN love. They love each other in the way you have to love someone you've been with for most of your life.
I, for one, would like to be able to celebrate a 50th+ wedding anniversary with my fiance but be IN LOVE still when it happens.

Arden said...

My grandparents are also still very much in love, it's cute. They just celebrated their 50th last year and we threw them a big party.

jenny said...

Its nice to hear all about your "small town" family. I'm from a small town, and my family all lives in small towns.

I completely understand your spontaneous crying too. Change is hard. My grandparents are getting on in years and it makes me incredibly sad to think about this world without them.

VicMorrowsGhost said...

This was a nice entry.
Not sappy, genuine emoion.

Marie said...

This made me smile because I know how you feel. The longest amount of time I've lived somewhere (consecutively) was three years (going on four now). I ended up moving back to three places I've lived, and when I did, things were so different. As I'm typing this, I'm sitting in the kitchen of my best friend since kindergarten (we're almost 18 now). Through all the times I've moved we've stayed friends, always visiting each other. A few years ago I had moved back to this town, and everything feels so different since then. My friend talks about people I've never met, I see new stores or restaurants in place of old ones. And my other friends have changed a lot, so much that they are almost completely different people. I hate change, though I should be accustomed to it by now, and seeing all these changes has made me cry a few times.

That was really long, so I'll just say one more thing: a 50th anniversary would be amazing, especially with how things are today.

irrishpirrate said...

My grandparents just had their 60th wedding anniversary. It was really cute, considering they are still in love. Good luck with that goal!

emmeinthislife said...

Just realised that this song I am listening to whilst reading your blog fits with what you are saying about it being like home to you;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrLbrBtD2H0
=) xxx

Believing_Be said...

We're leaving in about a week to visit my grandparents for their 50th anniversary on the 18th. So I know just what you mean, especially with the love of small towns. They're just so homey. When I go out with my grandfather, we honestly can't go 100 feet without him running into someone who knows him. It's always, "Hey, Skip!" "Skip! Over here!" I love it. THAT is what I want when I'm his age, for sure. :)

iamclovinfoshiz7 said...

i totally understand about the whole change thing. like i love not changing, and when it happens i feel like i take everything i have for granted, and things that are gone i just get emotional about.

Larangutang said...

That sounds like a really good times. I think vacations where you get to visit family are the best ones. I know how you feel about the good things changing, it's happening with me too.

Sam Y said...

When you were talking about your grandparents selling the house, that part really related to me and made me sad. My grandparents were forced to sell their house because the airport wanted to expand. It was really sad having to see it all knocked down because I half grew up in that house.

But I know what you mean about change. It can be really hard, but sometimes we just have to accept that life is always changing, but with change comes new good things too :)