I am at work, doing a 7.5 hour shift.
There are no managers here today though, so here I am on the internet, bloggin' it up!
My mind has been all over the place lately.
I took Eia out the other day in my Fiesta to begin her manual car driving lessons. It felt really, really good knowing that not only is this something that I conquered in my life, but I am actually good enough now to teach someone else how to do it. I also realized that somewhere down the road I stopped finding new routes to take (sans hills) a little while ago. I've just been driving my normal ways, which is.. really nice.
I also found out I get to keep the car for a month longer than I expected, and then have to drive it to LA to give it back, which is going to be fun and exciting. Overall, this whole fiestamovement thing has been a really positive experience for me. I learned how to do something I never thought I would be able to, and I've grown to really enjoy driving. I never cared too much for it before all of this. I have been trying to find ways to utilize the last two months... so don't be surprised if I start writing about a lot of little random impromptu trips.
Also, NaNoWriMo is coming up suprisingly quickly.
I am going to be very incredibly busy in November, but if I could do it last year (when the odds were seriously stacked against me) then I can totally do it this year. Even with Wrockstock right in the middle. Even with a road trip to LA toward the end of the month.
I have just a skeleton of an idea for a novel, but I think it's enough to go on. Plus, Liz is coming down to visit tomorrow so we can go see Scott Westerfeld on his Leviathan book tour (which I am certain will be inspiring because he's one of my favorite authors). Liz is then spending the night, and she and I can talk about our novels for hours so this should be good for us.
There is something else that recently happened in my life that almost feels a little too good to be true so I hadn't written about it yet... but now I think I will.
A few years ago (just after high school) I dated this guy named Justin. He and I broke up on pretty amicable terms and were still best friends (and carpooled to school every day) for nearly another year afterwards. But then a few things happened in his life, and he completely shut me (and everyone else in our friend group that went along with me) out of his. There was really nothing I could do, as it was his choice, so I just went on with my life (even though it was really hard for me) hoping someday, maybe, he'd let me back in his.
To be honest, I had pretty nearly given up hope. But the other day, my good friend Colin (another close mutual friend to both of us who'd been shut out as well) called me to say that low and behold, they'd spoken on the phone. And that Justin was doing well and had broken up with his girlfriend and was getting his life back on track.
My heart started racing and I had butterflies in my stomach, thinking that maybe that meant he would answer a call from me too. He hadn't returned my calls or texts or anything since the previous summer. I waited a few days, and, losing my nerve, merely sent a text. I didn't expect him to reply. For a few hours, he didn't.
But then, later that evening when I was out grocery shopping with roommate-Justin (confusing), he did.
Recieving a text from him felt all too familiar and I was honestly getting shaky when I saw the message was from him because I was scared of what he might say. It was one of those movie moments that you never think are going to happen in real life. Long lost friend re-entering your life months and months after the fact? Yeah right. What if he didn't want anything to do with me?
I set down my shopping cart, milk sloshing and nectarines rolling out of their plastic bag as I fumbled with my cell phone. The gist of the message was that he realized how wrong a lot of his decisions had been, he had a much better grip on his life, he wanted to apologize to me for being a crummy friend in person, and could we hang out?
I feel like my life is coming full circle in a good way. I saw a PostSecret today that said "I'm realizing sometimes you have to lose the good things in life to make room for the great things."
This struck a chord with me, because that statement is so completely true. I may have felt like I lost a "good thing" when Alex and I broke up (and then completely stopped speaking), but it looks as though I'm about to get a great part of my life back. Justin and I are meeting on Wednesday. :)
Anyway, life always has a funny way of working out.
Someone sent me a message a few weeks ago saying that reading my blog had made her look at her own break-up and realize she wasn't hurting anymore. She told me that I was going to have a moment like that too, and when it happened I wouldn't even believe I was ever that upset.
I honestly thought it would take a lot longer for that to happen. I mean, you were all there with me. I was a MESS. And it wasn't that that long ago.
But... I feel really okay now. I am not sad, I do not miss him, and the things I have going on in my life are really, really great. So here's to the rest of my life. It's going to be awesome.
not here to make friends
1 day ago