I have realized that one problem with not just making a video on YouTube saying "Alex broke up with me and that's why I am sad in London and miss things like Poptarts and home," is that a lot of people (naturally) don't know what's going on.
When I made my video about missing my comfort foods from home, I got a lot of really bitchy comments from people who thought I just was some closed-minded American who doesn't like all the new things I am experiencing over here telling me to "go back to America if I hate it so much".
I don't really know what to do about these comments. I hate when people assume they understand a situation when they are so far off base, and I know there is nothing I can really do to fix it, given the nature of the situation and my life and the Internet.
Especially because in actuality, I LOVE England. I adore so much about the UK; I fell in love with Edinburgh, I'm coming around to a lot of the food here, I've met so many great and amazing people, I'm really impressed with the tube system - most of my "complaining" is just because I had my heart broken for the very first time here, in a foreign place, and had nothing familiar to me at all to distract or comfort me. I missed things like Jamba Juice and Poptarts and, you know, my mom, because I wanted to feel comfortable - and nothing about this country felt comfortable because it was all equated to the one person who was making me upset.
So, yes. I am tired of seeing red buses because I remember riding on them with him. I am tired of walking past Big Ben because my mind flashes back to the picture I had on my desktop for 4 months of us in front of it. It's unfair to equate these emotions to an entire city, but right now that's just the way it is for me.
Okay. So some people don't think I deserve to win a trip to Antarctica. That's fine. I never said anyone HAD to vote for me. By all means, vote for whoever you think deserves to win.
But don't tell me I shouldn't even apply because "maybe the guy who is currently winning will not have any other chance to travel" or something stupid. It's a CONTEST.
And maybe I don't write as well as Hayley. But while the Quark Expedition is a contest, blogging is not. I write to express myself. I write to record the things I do and see and experience. And especially lately, I write because I am dealing with a lot of things, and this blog is one of the only things that feels familiar. I don't write to be the best at it.
I'm staying with my friend Claire tonight, who is currently making us dinner, and tomorrow I leave for Rome. Never a dull moment over here.
Edit: I've just been informed on twitter that I am in 8th place out of 566 applicants. IN ONE DAY. Clearly a whole lot more of you think I should go than the few who don't. :D
Days until I leave: 19
Times I've had Indian Food: 12
18 hours ago