what.

I cried when I watched Jerry's video for me.
I cried when I watched Hayley's last 2008 5AG video.
I cried HARD when I watched Sam's video for me.
I even felt like crying at the start of the Beatles LOVE Cirque du Soleil.

I dont know what's wrong with me, but lately I am just feeling completely overcome with how blessed I am and how many people's lives I impact. I really, really - am amazed, every time someone leaves a heartfelt video response about how much 5AG has affected them. Or every time someone I dont really know wishes me happy birthday.

This whole week is just so intense. Turning 21, and nearing the very end of 5AG:2008. It's way, way too much for my fragile emotions to handle.


In more uplifting news, I danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly. For... 6 songs, I think. lolol.
One of which was "Don't Stop Believing", which makes my LIFE. Perfect way to ring in turning 21. Thank you YouTube, for affecting my life so much.

It is now 5 am. I need to go to sleep because I am slightly tipsy (LEGALLY!) and I need to be awake and refreshed tomorrow because I am getting to see MICHAEL (whom I am very excited to see) and also Stefan and I think Drake.

Happy Birthday to meeeeeee.

vegas.

So I'm in Las Vegas. With my fam.

I didnt get nostalgic about LAST year's trip until we drove down the strip and I saw the Tropicana (where I stayed with Alex, Eia, Sam, Toby, Tyler, Brandon etc. last year this time) and the Stratosphere (where I stayed with Brittany and Matt when we were on tour, summer 07). I am really hoping this trip can measure up. Nothing will ENTIRELY measure up to last year's Vegas trip though. That was -- ridiculous.
My parents are taking me to Cirque du Soleil and all sorts of things I never got to do here before because I am a poor college student, which is a plus. Also my favorite uncle is here with us. And ALSO, on Saturday a few of my favorite YouTube boys will be joining me for awhile. So we'll see. This trip could end up being a success afterall.

Oh and I turn 21. Which I am very ready for.
Though I forgot to renew my driver's license so I will be walking around with an expired one... for awhile. Sigh.
Being in Vegas and turning 21 in a day and a half is much more annoying than being in Vegas and accepting the fact that you wont be 21 anytime soon.

Like when I got kicked out a casino today. MY BIRTHDAY IS ON SATURDAY. I WONT BE ANY DIFFERENT THEN, I PROMISE.

It was my mom's fault, anyhow. She was teaching me to gamble.

It's past midnight now I suppose, but Merry Christmas. <3

cold.

I had an interesting night.

After spending all day selling gift certificates at work to frantic last minute shoppers, I went to a Gingerbread House making party with a bunch of people from highschool. Three of which were pretty close friends of mine but most of which really... weren't.
I was really afraid that it was going to be awkward, but I ended up having a nice time. Which was surprising. I was mostly happy to see Eia (2 days apart after living together is TOO LONG) and especially Colin and Heather, since I love them both so much and they both abandoned me for college in Pennsyl-stupid-vania.

Although I wont deny, the best part was when Colin kicked everyone out around 11:30 so we could have Colin and Kristina bonding time. He is probably one of my favorite people in the world to talk to and we don't get to often enough while he's away at Lafayette. Dumb college keeping me from the people I love.

Anyway, here comes 2 in the morning, and after Colin walked me up to my car, we realized it was stuck in the snow and the more we tried to get it out, the more it slid into the ditch and looked like I got in some sort of embarrassing accident.

So finally around 3 he just drove me home and I suppose I will have to deal with it tomorrow.


It was still a good day. <3

okay.

Project for Awesome was a success.
I was so busy commenting/getting excited/being a dork on blogtv that I forgot to write anything about it here?

My video pretty much always stayed on Page1 of the Most Discussed page, which makes it fun.

I've had 2 snow days now, totaling 16 hours of missed work. Goodbye, a lot of money I needed for the 2 trips I am taking this month.
That being said, I am getting excited to leave, and get away, and go places and see people (oooo mysterious) but I also feel reluctant to know that when I return, the very next day = first day of winter quarter. I have been having SO much fun this Winter Break, and there are so many people I havent hung out with, so many books I havent read, so many naps I haven't taken, and so many hours I haven't spent on skype. School takes up too much tiiime.

I've been staying up ridiculously late. But it's BREAK so I don't care.
Yesterday all I had to accomplish was to do 3 loads of laundry.
I finished 1 and a half. The half is still sitting in my hamper, clean but getting wrinkly.


All I want to do is keep reading Let It Snow and inevitably end up back on skype for an inordinate amoung of hours tonight. And eat. food. all. day. long.

My birthday is in 8 days! HAVE YOU BOUGHT ME PRESENTS YET? lolz.

no.

When you find someone you can just talk to, for hours...

...sleep seems so unnecessary.

oh hai.

I don't have much to say today, except that it was a snow day for me and I skipped work.
And in the seven hours that I should have been making the m0niez, I accomplished next to nothing.


Besides getting almost entirely caught up on Heroes. (4 eps down, 1 to go).

Oh, and this:


Thank you Molly, for always finding interesting things on the Internet that I can do when I am being completely lazy. Woo.

Happy Sunday.

almost done.

This entry is 100% a product of me not wanting to continue studying - I've been at it all day.

I have so many lovely things to be excited about in the near future. I've been smiling about everything all day. (Except the hour or so that I buckled down and wrote this annoying paper on SO2 emissions. But that's over and done with, so back to smiling.)

I need to go Christmas shopping. I bought Brittany's gift online today (I stumbled onto the perfect thing and just whipped out the credit card) but I am completely clueless as to what to get for anyone else. Or how to pay for it.


I have this new found love for cereal and oatmeal. I am almost out (because I eat it probably three times a day) so I was going to walk to Safeway after class and buy more, but it was raining so hard that I had to take the bus home. And then I never made it back to Safeway. It ruined my day. :(


I haven't said anything substantial in this entire entry. I am going to go downstairs and eat the cereal Sam left in her cupboard, and then complain some more to my skype buddies about how I dont want to study. Woooo.

instead of homework.

I was going strong on my essay until I took a break, got sad that I'm not at Bryn Mawr tonight, and decided to do this instead.

I took this from mememolly who took it from amazingphil who took it from... someone.

1. What’s your name?
Kristina. Some people call me Tina, which is cute, but I have always thought myself fortunate to have such a pretty name that I actually like.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
Gosh ever since Sam and I started shopping together, TIGHTS. But then again, nothing will ever beat my converse shoes.

3. Last thing you ate?
I actually JUST finished a green apple with caramel dip. Yum.

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
Veggie Veggie, the Thai place on the ave. Eff you, cockroaches.

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
DAMNIT.

6. Last person you hugged?
Karly after we went shoe shopping today. But before that, it was Sam at the airport. Or maybe Eia.

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
I don't think "date" is the right word exactly.

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
At this point, it may be my only option.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
Mostly my height - because I spent so many years slouching and pretending I wasn't actually this tall.
But when it comes right down to it, I'm just incredibly glad I am comfortable in my own skin.

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
I went to the Mongolian Grill tonight - and have leftovers!

11. Who is your best friend?
Oh wow. That's a loaded question.
In the grand scheme of things, Brittany will always get that title, but it's just a title. I care about SO many people in the way one cares about a "best friend".

12. What time of the day is it?
11:00 pm exactly. Also, should be essay-writing time. Oops.

13. Who/What made you angry today?
Closed-minded people at the theatre I work in.

14. Baseball or Football?
Neither, really, though I at least understand how baseball works.

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes.

16. Favorite type of Food?
Thai food. Oatmeal. Dried bananas. Frozen yogurt with grahams crackers and blackberries in it.

17. Favorite holiday:
Christmas, because then my birthday is right around the corner. :)

18. Do you download music:
Yarrr, matey.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
If they don't smell, they aren't dirty.
.
20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
I appreciate Japanese symbols because I speak a bit of the language, but for those who get them merely to be trendy - you're an idiot. But this is a matter of choosing trendy over meaningful, not choosing Chinese symbol tattoos specifically. If a Chinese symbol tattoo means something to you - get it.
Also, I want to point out that this is my longest answer thus far. Personlaity quirk - I get riled up over insignificant and trivial things. Wooo.

21. Would you date the person that posted this?
Molly? Ha. Always.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Actually, quite a few times. I'm lucky to know lovely musicians. :)

23. Do you love anyone?
So much it hurts. And it's spread out all over the planet.

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
I have a serious eye phobia and could never, ever put a contact in my eye, but I think they look nice on other people.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
Absolutely not. And I never will.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
Nope. This, however, I would consider trying.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Ha. Yup.

27. How many pets do you have?
One dog, Honey, who is at home with the parents and brother. I miss her.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
I'm from North Dakota. Yes.

30. How is the weather right now?
It's dark out. But it was cloudy/cold today.

31. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing, actually. Thanks for pointing it out. I'm going to put on my homegirl Katy Perry because I miss Sam. Don't judge me.

32. What is your current favorite song?
Hm. I dont even know who it's by but the YouTube song, "She's a yooooung girl, talking about herself."

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Um.
Wow.
Twilight in theatres?

34. Do you wear contacts?
Haven't we covered this?

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Work, today. And then the shoe store. And then Target, where I bought Beedle the Bard like a good little Harry Potter fan.

36. What are you afraid of?
Being forgotten. Heights. Turkeys.

37. How many piercings have you had?
Two in each ear. I want another one on one ear. Someone come hold my hand while I do it.

38. What piercings do you want?
Sigh. But - I just -

39. What’s one thing you’ve learned this year?
Boys are stupid?
No, but seriously. I've learned to live on my own and I would say that's a pretty huge deal.
I've also learned I am a strong enough person to deal with huge changes without letting it overtake me.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Either a passion iced tea, sweetened, or a hazelnut hot cocoa. While I do homework with Sam. SIGH.

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
True story: My brother kept pestering me to shoot his bebe gun and I didnt want to because I don't like guns, but finally I just gave in and shot it - and hit the target fifteen feet away.
Maybe that's not impressive, but I was impressed. With myself.
I haven't shot one since.

43. Are you missing someone?
Too many. Too often.

44. Favourite TV show?
Lost. Heroes. Gossip Girl. America's Next Top Model.
That's really the extent of my TV-watching.

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
Not even a little.

47. Has anyone said you look like a celebrity?
Yeah, they have.

47. What celeb do you look like?
"That chick from Superbad". Kiera Knightley. Cameron Diaz. Uma Thurman. "No, seriously, you really look like that chick from Superbad."

48. Who would you like to see right now?
Sam Friedman. Lauren Fairweather. Hayley Hoover. Alex Day. Michael Aranda. And just for good measure, I'm going to throw in Ed Westwick. Hey, a girl can dream.

49. Favorite movie of all time?
Impossible. I could watch the Nightmare Before Christmas over and over again though.

50. Do you find yourself loved?
I'm reminded every day by people I dont even know. It's nice. Thank you YouTube.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t suppose to?
Oh get over yourself, who HASN'T.

52. Favorite smell?
Used books. Best. Ever.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Salted.

54. What’s something that really bugs you?
Not getting the whole truth about something.
And when people mix stripes with stripes. Fashion sense, get one.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
His music, yes. Thrillerrrrrrr.

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
A Crunchwrap Supreme and Empanada from Taco Bell is my guilty pleasure.

57. What’s your favorite perfume?
I just wear some fruity thing I got from Ulta, when I remember.
I have expensive perfume I got for Christmas last year, Ja'Dore by Dior, and I think I lost it. Oops.

58. Favorite baseball team?
The Cullens?

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
Uh, nope. Maybe at a sleepover once when I was like 10.

60. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep?
Haha. 45 hours or something, just two days ago.

61. Last time you went bowling?
I think it was in April when Mark and Jason came to visit. Though I play Bowling Buddies on facebook at work all the time. Wooo.

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
An all Harry Potter themed room at some friends of Lena's on tour?
Under a row of chairs at the Kansas City Airport?
On a trampoline?

63. Who was your last phone call?
Consulting phone... Ryan Seiler! He called right before MoM went on stage at the Bryn Mawr show to say they missed me. Shucks.
ADDENDUM: Sam just called WHILE typing up this answer. She wins.

- some of this survey was cut off. Weird.
Well, just imagine there were some more questions below here.

wow.

Six months ago I posted a video called "In my lifetime..." in which I listed 10 things I wish to accomplish before I die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGy5ErGeoY8

I watched it again today and realized that in just half a year I have already accomplished 6 of those things.


....either I need harder to achieve goals, or I'm just awesome.

sigh.

Yesterday I slept for 8 and a half hours after going 2 days without sleep.
I woke up this morning feeling quite literally like a brick.
I would rather not get out of bed but alas, I have school in a half hour and 6 hours of work after that.


It will take my mind off of things I suppose.

Yesterday was stupid. It was stupid.
On top of being an emotional wreck from trying to ignore everything about life here in Seattle that reminds me of Sam being here (which is um, EVERYTHING), two other people decided it was a good day to mess with my head as well, concerning other aspects of my life. I don't know what to think about anything anymore.

All I need is a mini fridge and I can lock myself in that closet I always brag about for a little while. No one can leave me or tell me things I don't understand while I'm in there.

Also, I am thankful for Brittany who forced me to shower and go out with her to some weird little Seattle filmmakers shindig with her last night. I ate cream puffs.


Now my computer keeps freaking out and telling me I have a virus, which I dont think is true. And it's time for school. Farewell.

stoppp.

I just got back from dropping Sam off at the airport.

I'm not happy.
I'm not happy.
I'm not happy.


This is overly dramatic but I actually feel like I've had a piece of myself ripped off.
...but at the same time I feel like she's going to be back next weekend or something.


I'm sorry, I'm surprised anyone even wants to talk to me right now. I'm just a mess of emotions and stupid inside jokes only Sam would understand. And songs that are meaningful and YouTube and all these stupid, stupid, amazing memories from the last two months.

Sigh.

It's almost 8am and I havent slept yet. Going to class at 10am on an all-nighter.
Then I am probably going to be upset some more and then I will sleep my day away.


...how has YOUR week been?

well.

I don't have time to say much, just that I'm a complete wreck, I have cried 4 times today, but we're spending Sam's last night here dressed in our weirdest outfits and having a nonstop dance party.


...not that that's different than any other night.



Ugh, tomorrow, please never come.

new beginnings.

I feel like I am betraying myself by having this new blog.

I've had a quiet little burrow over on livejournal since... well, since I was a prepubescent girl whining about boys and school and how life isn't fair.



I guess things haven't changed much really, except I'm more curvy and have less pimples.


I wanted to create a public blog, so for awhile I just made my LJ entries public. But there is way too much history attached to my lifejournal. Too many upset dramatic posts, LJ comment drama, etc.

Currently I am sitting in my living room beside two of my housemates on the couch watching the cartoon version of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas". I like this time of year.

Okay. So.
Here's a funny story.
I have an email address that I give to everyone on the Internets because I decided my old username was silly. Then I get the email messages forwarded from the new one to my old one.
For 6 months or so I thought this had been working just fine, but when I recently logged in for the first time since I made it, I found 657 messages, only half of which had ever been forwarded to me.
Among these were tons and tons of fan messages. I have been smiling and glowing all night sitting and reading all these lovely little notes from people that I've missed. There are some dating back to June, and even though I am filled with love for everyone who has ever taken a minute to write to me, I also feel like a HUGE jerk because now all these wonderful people think I ignored them. That I didnt have time to say thank you.

Sigh. If you ever wrote me a fan message and didn't get a reply back, this is probably why. I am incredibly sorry for this.

Now I am going to continue my bad pattern of sleep deprivation and probably eat half the food in my cupboard while I stay up all night on skype.

-Kristina