A few days ago I went to the dentist, and as I have told you before, they have TVs in each of the rooms for patients to watch while getting their teeth cleaned. First I sat down and no one handed me the remote for a little while, and I started to get concerned they weren't going to let me utilize this great privilege this time.
But then finally, about 10 minutes into my checkup, the nurse says, "Oh do you want to watch TV?"
Oh, no, I'm great just staring here at your chin from a weird side angle, pretending you're not actually using a scrape-y thing to torture my gums. Of course I want to watch TV.
But then I faced my second challenge. Finding something good to watch on daytime television. Last time I went to the dentist, I lucked out, because the Price is Right was on, and it took up pretty much the majority of the time I was sitting in the dentist's chair. But at 11 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday? Nothing is on. Nothing.
Finally, I stumbled on two channels that weren't showing the news or religious speakers. Clifford the Big Red Dog and Jerry Springer.
Now, I don't know about you guys, but given those options, I would watch Clifford any day. But for some reason, sitting in that chair, my nurse and dentist hovering over me, being 22 years old… I just couldn't do it. I felt like they would judge me so much. THEY didn't know there was nothing else on. They would just think this 22 year old girl, out of a whole range of channels, chose to watch Clifford. After talking to them at the reception desk about almost being through with college.
So I watched Jerry Springer. I'm ashamed to admit it. And I am only telling you this (because its embarrassing) because I want you to walk away with the take-home message here. If I could go back and do it again (which I cant, because as of Wednesday when I graduate I no longer have health insurance; thanks America) I would watch Clifford. Because whatever! I'll watch what I want! Even if it makes my dentist think I am some underdeveloped child-girl who still enjoys shouting "no, Clifford, Emily Elizabeth went over there!" at the TV, then so be it. It's better than watching Jerry Springer. Because now my dentist probably thinks I have a dysfunctional relationship and an anger problem. Or something.
Speaking of health insurance, I have been cramming as many doctor appointments in before graduation as I possibly can. Today I am going to see the eye doctor, and hopefully get new glasses, because I've had the same pair for 7-8 years. I have no idea about anything intelligent concerning insurance after I graduate, so that's another scary thing on my plate as soon as they hand me my diploma. Also paying off student loans, thinking about money… why was I excited to graduate again?
This weekend feels like the calm before the storm. Friday was my very last day of classes (maybe ever) and next Wednesday I have my only final exam. I still need to write an artist's statement to my thesis and turn that in, and then I am essentially finished. I'm not sure how it feels yet, really. This quarter has been so odd ( doing one off-campus internship, and a thesis class that met infrequently, as well as my cinema class I hated and didn't go to a lot) so I don't feel like "being done with school" is really going to sink in for awhile. Maybe not even until next fall when I don't have to go back.
I'm excited. And nervous. Tour always felt so far away because I had to "graduate first", and that's a huge unwieldy obstacle to stand in the way of other plans. But now it's only about three weeks away, and I feel like I still have so much to do.
Oh by the way, camping last weekend was a blast, and I'm working on a video about the experience (though slowly, since my to-do list this week is just absurd).
It felt good to update this blog today. I really need to keep writing during these crazy times. I know I'll just regret it later if I don't.
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i love reading this thin
1 hour ago