Today was the first day of school at the University of Washington. I saw all the college-aged kids swarming the streets of the U District today with their backpacks and their cell phones and their cups of coffee.
You know what I did today?
1. Slept until 10.
2. Went to Target.
3. Set up a green screen and lighting device in my dining room.
4. Finally took a shower around 5.
5. Filmed a video, learned how to chroma key in Sony Vegas, and replied to a ton of emails.
6. Watched a movie with Eia.
I'll admit, this is actually a pretty standard day in the life of Kristina Horner. But every single thing I did today felt the tiniest bit wrong when I stopped and thought about the fact that literally for the past 18 years, on this day in the fall, I was putting on my backpack, a new outfit, pouring over my schedule and going to my first day of new classes. There's a small part of me that misses school (new clothes, school supplies, new friends, new classes), but mostly it feels really freeing. I can do ANYTHING I WANT. Anything. Except fly. I still can't fly.
That sentiment is only slightly dampened by how much time I have spent on the phone with car insurance companies this week. Real life, man. It has its plusses and minuses.
So my sleeping schedule is all off right now for some reason (a combination of staying up late to catch up on YouTube videos, to talk to Eia because it's the only time she's ever home, and just generally losing track of time), but I have this viciously meticulous internal clock that will not, under any circumstances, let me sleep past 10. No matter what time I went to bed. And usually I'm up by 8, on a normal day.
Anyway, the point of this is that when I don't sleep well, I have nightmares. Not like, exorcist boogieman mentally-scarring nightmares, but just... really weird, disorienting stuff.
I dreamt a few nights ago that a friend of mine tried to give me this herbal tea stuff that had worms in it that were apparently great for detox or something, but when I opened the lid they just started flying out and attaching themselves to everything. That's not a fun situation to wake up from.
I had a dream, too, that my face was covered in these creepy lumps and nobody wanted to tell me about it, and I actually woke up from it unconsciously feeling my cheeks to make sure they were alright.
I also had this dream one time where a guy was trying to hunt me down from the internet and wanted to kill me or kidnap me or something, and in the dream I remember coming home and seeing my place was trashed - when I woke up I actually had to have Luke reassure me that nothing was wrong.
And one time I dreamt Eia was demanding we move into a dancer's commune where you sleep in a different room than you keep your stuff in, as an attempt to share the living experience on a deeper level with your housemates -wtf! And she wasn't listening to me at all when I was telling her that I didn't want to live there, and I actually woke up angry at her, before I realized it wasn't real.
These are just a few of the recent ones, and while it's not really a big deal because I tend to get over it within about five minutes of waking up... I guess I'm just wondering if this is normal. Nightmares seem like such a little kid thing; you know, in movies, it's always a child in their rocketship jammies waking up and screaming for their parents from some nightmare, but I seem to have them pretty frequently. And sometimes they really shake me up for a few minutes.
So anyway, that's all. Do you have nightmares? Do you have them often? What kind of nightmares are they/do they affect you for awhile after you wake up?
This blog post got very personal very quickly, so I am going to turn attention away from myself now, and reply to a comment I got on my last post from a lovely girl named Alex who comments on just about everything of mine. :)
kira902k: What should I do when my friends that I've had for a really long time are suddenly showing their backstabbing, bitchy sides and I have a whole new group of nerdier, more amazing friends (who are all either not at my school, or in a grade younger than me)? Do I ditch my longtime friends and graduate without friends in my grade, or do I just play along and deal with them until high school is finally over?
Let's take this one piece at a time. First of all, it sounds a little bit like you've answered your own question. You can obviously tell the difference between bitchy/backstabbing people and people who are truly worth your time, so you should be super thankful you have those other friends, regardless of where they live or how old they are.
I went through some trials and tribulations in middle school and high school with mean, backstabby people, and if I'd had another source of awesome friends to turn to then, it would have helped so much.
Graduating with people you know is fun and important, but you're always going to remember if those friendships were hollow or in fact meaningless. Even if you're not surrounded by your best friends on graduation day, you're still going to be celebrating a HUGE achievement you made on your own, and you're still going to have those great other friends waiting for you at the end of the day. Don't make yourself miserable just to take pictures in caps and gowns with people who aren't worthwhile.
Basically the moral of the story here, is that it's NEVER better to "play along" until some predetermined time if you're unhappy. Your life is happening right now. Spend it with the people who matter. Even if they're a grade below you. Or far away. :)
And that's how Kristina C's it! LOL.
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i love reading this thin
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