Musings on the end of BSG (no spoilers).

Oh man. I don't even really have time to be updating my blog right now, but I can't help myself. I have a million things to do today (we're starting filming again tomorrow and there's always a mile-long list of things to do before our shoots) but I am in one of those crazy states of mind that I feel like I just need to capture.

Last night I finished watching Battlestar Galactica.

I'm a big, big fan of television. I'm all about the intricate storytelling, the breathtaking visuals, the actors so good at their jobs that it makes you feel uncomfortable to remember that they're real people with lives outside the show. That many (if not all) of the people on Battlestar Galactica have probably never actually shot a gun, have never been in space, have never met a real Cylon.

Each time I finish an incredible show, I have a really difficult time letting go. Good storytelling affects me in ways that I can't explain, ways that make me feel for a little while like there will never be anything as good ever again.

But, after Lost, there was Doctor Who. And after Doctor Who, there was Buffy. And after Buffy, there was Battlestar Galactica. Each time I let another show in, I feel like the bar gets set even higher, and new shows keep surpassing my previous expectations for how good television can get.

It's getting to the point where I can't even rank my favorites, but Battlestar will always have a slot near the very top of my list. I can't even explain in words how deeply I fell in love with this show, and even though it's over now, it will always be there in the back of my mind. Kara Thrace, Admiral Adama, Laura Roslin, Lee, Sam, Sharon, Gaius, Six, Helo, Hera, The Chief... they're not going anywhere. Just like every other great tv show and book and movie that's ever affected me is here to stay, so are the characters from BSG.

I am experiencing that perfect mix of slightly hollow yet completely satisfied now that it's over, and I feel so fortunate that I get to celebrate the ending of this wonderful TV series with EMP's Galactibash tonight. Perfect timing. Nothing makes me happier than to see slightly older fandoms still so relevant today, and I can't wait to party it up with the other BSG fans out this evening.

SO SAY WE ALL!

Job Hunters induced exhaustion.

I am working through levels of exhaustion that are unprecedented for me - today is most definitely going to be a non-work day. Except for the Job Hunters production meeting we have planned for tonight; but that's just going to be mostly talking. I can handle talking.

Thursday we had our final acting rehearsal/workshop for the first weekend of shooting. Friday night was pre-production meeting and tech night. Then we started shooting bright and early on Saturday. I arrived to set at 7:30 AM, and everything was pretty much nonstop from there, going until midnight and starting again on Sunday at 8 AM.

I am blown away by the incredible cast and crew we've managed to put together for this production. The entire weekend, I think everyone was sort of reveling in the perfect balance we were able to find between professionalism and fun. We powered through so much of the first 3 episodes in those two days, it was insane! The raw footage I happened to sneak peaks at looked amazing as well. It really is mind-blowing to think back over all the stages of this project - dreaming up the idea, fundraising, writing, casting, set building, etc. - and to see it really coming together now, before our very eyes.

So, again, I am exhausted. I'm fully dressed (in a pink sweater and matching pink hairbow a la 'Galentine's Day' this morning with my gals Liz and Tara) but I am tucked into my bed, catching up on email and blogs and twitter and everything I have been ignoring for the past week as my brain was in Job Hunters central.

I can't wait to do it all again next weekend, but for now, it's good to relax. I have a lot of Battlestar Galactica to watch with Liz and David this week. I. Can't. Wait.

I feel very off the grid right now, so I figured it was a good time to give a little blog post update. :)

Obligatory 'I Suck at Blogging' blog.

I have been absolutely awful about blogging so far this year. (We hear variations of this sentence a lot on this blog, don't we?)

One of the things I decided to really work on in 2012 is saying 'no'. I know, it sounds like a pretty negative thing to work on at first glance, but that's just it. Saying 'no' isn't always about being negative. It's about being realistic.

It would be awesome to just be able to say yes to everything. Yes, I will meet you for lunch! Yes, I will make video-snippets for your new video series! Yes, I will check out your channel! Yes, I will reply to every single email I receive! Yes, I will skype with you for the next hour! Yes, I will write a book! Yes, I will produce, act in and write this web series! Yes, I will go to your meetup! Yes, I will clean my room! Yes, I will stay caught up on all the new TV! Yes, I will say happy birthday to your cousin who's a fan I've never met! Yes, I will read that book you sent me! Yes, I will start going to the gym! Yes, I will promote your cause! Yes, I will do a giveaway for your product in my videos! Yes, I will go to your party! Yes, I will attend that convention! Yes, yes, yes!

Unfortunately, someone who says yes to all those things (and the hundreds more yesses people want from us on a daily basis) would, without a doubt, start to go absolutely crazy before long. One thing I've really had to just accept in life recently is that you can't do everything. You can't.

I like saying yes to everyone. I like helping people, I like being there for my friends and I like being in involved in new things. But sometimes it's just physically impossible. And finding that limit can sometimes be a lot harder than one would think.

So I tried it. I said 'no' to a video project I was offered in early January. It was scary, and I almost caved and did the project anyway - but, once I said no, I was overcome by how easy it was. So not only did I start saying no to other people, I started to find a few ways to downsize a little on the current responsibilities I already arbitrarily have for myself. Even the basic act of keeping up with social media is exhausting. Having multiple YouTube channels, Twitter accounts, Facebook, Tumblr etc etc etc. It's so much! There are ways to consolidate!

Don't be mistaken - this is not about saying no to EVERYTHING. That is bad. That is not what anyone should do. Learning to say 'no' doesn't mean holing up in your room and becoming a hermit; doing only leisurely things whenever you want. I'm talking about balancing your yesses with your nos, making sure you're focusing on the things that really matter to you and not letting your time get tied up in too many projects/responsibilities/commitments/etc.

Look at it this way. If you say yes to enough people, eventually you'll find you're only helping them make THEIR stuff happen. Nobody's going to check up on you and make sure you're working on your own stuff, too. And when you're super busy... there's no one to answer to when it comes to your own stuff. So that's often the first to go.

What it comes down to is, you have to balance. Allow yourself time for YOU.

While still helping others when you can.

So. I told myself, it's not a big deal if I don't post more than one YouTube video in a week. I absolutely adore blogging, but it's been tougher lately, trying to figure out how to do regular updates when I'm working on so many things I can't actually fully divulge on. So my blog got to take a back seat as well. I realized even scheduling weekly live shows was too much, so I put them on hiatus. Answering questions on Tumblr? Those can wait. Right now it's web series.

Clearing out my schedule in these small ways has really given me the extra time (and sanity) I've needed to throw myself into Job Hunters. I don't think I've been this dedicated to a single project with a group of people since high school theatre. It's a pretty amazing thing.

I am bursting at the seams wanting to tell you guys every little detail about it, but it's also kind of fun to have it so under wraps. Everything else in my life is so public - my music, my trips, my thoughts and ideas, even past relationships - I'm so used to sharing everything with you. This is exciting, new territory for me. I can't wait to just surprise everyone with the final product.

We've been doing pre-production all month - my main responsibilities have been coordinating with our costumer and makeup artist (costume shopping is SO FUN) as well as final script revision and whatnot. Today we had a set building work party, but my friend Molly and I were sent on prop scouting. I wont pretend we didn't get a little distracted at a giant thrift store though. I may or may not have purchased a Lizzie McGuire cookie jar. Um.

So, yeah.

Hey, loyal blog readers. I hope you've been doing well. I want to thank you guys for sticking around even when I'm not giving you much in the way of 'entertainment'. YouTube videos in general have such quick turn-around time, but trying to pull off a production of this magnitude... I've really felt like I've gone into hiding, and it's strange for me.

I just hope no one minds a little bit of radio silence while I continue to work silently over here on the biggest project of my life, so far. :)