Too many amazing things have happened to me recently for me to even really put it in words. I've really been meaning to blog, but I haven't known exactly what I wanted to say. However, I leave for LeakyCon TOMORROW MORNING, so it is at this point that I realize I really need to just braindump on this blog for awhile. So here I go.
1. On the mystery packages/letters that showed up in my PO Box:
If you didn't see the video, basically something miraculous happened to me. I was going about my day, running errands, and I made a stop at the Post Office. I had a package to mail, and I try to check my PO Box at least once a week or so as time permits. I stuck my key in the hole and to my surprise, I had a bit of trouble turning it. This didn't really make sense, so using both hands, I jammed the key around and thrust open the little box. I can't even begin to explain the manner in which letters were crammed into my tiny box. It took me a good five minutes to pry every single letter from its holding place, and then I found four keys to overflow boxes. FOUR. You know that cartoon image of the shoppers holding bags and boxes way up past their faces so they can't see? That's what I looked like as I left the Post Office that day.
For a little while I was baffled. I dumped the mail in my car and continued on the day's errands, musing in my head why on earth I had so much mail. It wasn't my birthday. It's nowhere near Christmas. I mentioned the puzzling event on twitter, and that's when I started to figure out what was going on.
When Eff Yeah Nerdfighters caught wind of my vocal disorder, they organized a secret project for tons and tons of fans to personally mail me get-well-soon letters and presents. And even though I have google alerts set up on my name, they somehow managed to orchestrate this whole project without me knowing. The response, I will tell you, has been overwhelming. I haven't even been able to open everything, because each letter is so wonderful that it makes me tear up, and crying is bad for my vocal chords! But I've decided to save them, and open then one at a time on days when getting through these nodes is hard. Every time I am feeling sorry for myself for not being able to eat the foods I like or go out with my friends to loud places or even being able to sing in the shower - I'll open one of your letters and I know it'll make it easier.
I am just so tickled and almost bashful about the outpouring of love I've received from all of this. You guys really make me feel like I can so anything. And that nothing, even a serious vocal dysfunction, can stop me from doing the things I love to do. I'll get through this. But I don't think I could have been nearly this positive without your help.
2. On spending time at home with Seattle friends:
It's been an extremely powerful and overwhelming time, this summer. Any time I go on facebook or twitter, I see my fandom friends crying over the final red carpet Harry Potter film premiere, or stressing about packing for LeakyCon, or reblogging pictures of the trio today juxtaposed with pictures of them from the first movie - and it's all been a little too much. I mean, I am just as guilty for participating in this pre-movie, pre-conference hysteria, but I'm having a really tough time dealing with it alone. So in the past few weeks, I've been spending a lot of time with my Seattle friends.
Now, I am lucky. Even my "regular" "home" friends are fans of Harry Potter. They too have their tickets for a midnight showing and understand why I am an absolute ball of nerves right now. But they are a tad more... calm, about everything. So it's been extremely helpful to me to sort of throw myself into other things right now while everything is looming around me the closer I get to my flight departure.
Last weekend my friend Tara had us all come over to her parent's house for the 4th of July weekend, which was a total blast. We ate food until we burst, we had a WalMart adventure where we all bought matching 4th of July shirts (they had kittens on them, it was magical) and the girls even decked ourselves out in matching American Flag print bikinis. We stretched out in the sun by the lake, we played laser tag, we lit off fireworks and sat around a roaring fire once the sun went down. It was such a nice way to spend the holiday weekend. Then on the actual night of the 4th, I found myself in the 16th floor apartment of a building on the side that faces Lake Union, where Seattle's huge firework's display was. It was such an amazing view, and we didn't even have to make the horrendous trek to Gasworks park like the other thousands of people who gathered on the grass to see the show in person.
This weekend we went out of town again, which I was so thankful for. My friend Alexandra is moving to Austin, so she wanted to take one last "Washington Adventure". We piled in cars and found the smaller, finer must-sees of our state. We went to a couple museums filled with the most random things (from scary theatrical doll collections to a whole room full of various chess sets to a high-heeled shoe collection through the ages) and found an exact replica of Stonehenge. We ate in silly pubs and took in breathtaking views and stopped late in the evening in the middle of nowhere to look at the stars as we never get to see them back home in the city. It was such a relaxing, different weekend, and it really kept me distracted from all the craziness that's happening this week.
The only problem with this plan, though, is that now I leave tomorrow and I am in no way emotionally prepared for this. At least I am mostly packed. At least I have that.
3. On Harry Potter/LeakyCon/the fandom/my current emotional state:
I can't even. To date, LeakyCon 2011 will be my seventh major Harry Potter conference. That's not counting Wrockstock or any of the smaller events I've gone to like CondorCon or Hallows and Horcruxes. Many of the people I shared my very first con experience with (Phoenix Rising 2007 <3) will be there, such as Lauren, Matt, Alex, Brian, John and Bre. Not to mention every other single person I've met since then along the way. We'll be sharing our first viewing of the last film with each other, which is something we've never gotten to experience before. We'll be laughing and crying and surely making certain we make the most of every single second.
This is something I could never actually be ready for. It's hard walking into something that hasn't even happened yet, already knowing it will be too short and fearing for when it's just a fond memory on the other side. Literally every single person who's managed to touch my life in some way in the past 7 years is going to be there. Even my old fanfiction "best friend" Crystal is going to be there, which is more perfect than I can even say.
I'm so thankful I'll have Eia there to share this with me too; she's my one link at home to all this crazy stuff I've gone through. Her involvement in all of this really made me start to feel like I wasn't going through it alone. Lauren, the friend I've had the longest through Wizard Rock, Alex, the first person to ask me to go on tour with him and someone I truly consider an older brother, Brian, the first wizard rocker who really inspired me to take this from a silly hobby to something more real, Kayley, the friend I've been blessed with having near enough to take our friendship beyond the fandom, Bre, the person who inspired me to start making videos -- I could go on and on and on but there are just too many amazing people and they're all going to be there and I leave tomorrow and I can't believe it's finally here.
We're doing this, guys. We're going to Leaky. It's real for us.
15 hours ago