Monday, July 11, 2011

Pre-Harry Potter jitters and musings.

Too many amazing things have happened to me recently for me to even really put it in words. I've really been meaning to blog, but I haven't known exactly what I wanted to say. However, I leave for LeakyCon TOMORROW MORNING, so it is at this point that I realize I really need to just braindump on this blog for awhile. So here I go.

1. On the mystery packages/letters that showed up in my PO Box:
If you didn't see the video, basically something miraculous happened to me. I was going about my day, running errands, and I made a stop at the Post Office. I had a package to mail, and I try to check my PO Box at least once a week or so as time permits. I stuck my key in the hole and to my surprise, I had a bit of trouble turning it. This didn't really make sense, so using both hands, I jammed the key around and thrust open the little box. I can't even begin to explain the manner in which letters were crammed into my tiny box. It took me a good five minutes to pry every single letter from its holding place, and then I found four keys to overflow boxes. FOUR. You know that cartoon image of the shoppers holding bags and boxes way up past their faces so they can't see? That's what I looked like as I left the Post Office that day.

For a little while I was baffled. I dumped the mail in my car and continued on the day's errands, musing in my head why on earth I had so much mail. It wasn't my birthday. It's nowhere near Christmas. I mentioned the puzzling event on twitter, and that's when I started to figure out what was going on.

When Eff Yeah Nerdfighters caught wind of my vocal disorder, they organized a secret project for tons and tons of fans to personally mail me get-well-soon letters and presents. And even though I have google alerts set up on my name, they somehow managed to orchestrate this whole project without me knowing. The response, I will tell you, has been overwhelming. I haven't even been able to open everything, because each letter is so wonderful that it makes me tear up, and crying is bad for my vocal chords! But I've decided to save them, and open then one at a time on days when getting through these nodes is hard. Every time I am feeling sorry for myself for not being able to eat the foods I like or go out with my friends to loud places or even being able to sing in the shower - I'll open one of your letters and I know it'll make it easier.

I am just so tickled and almost bashful about the outpouring of love I've received from all of this. You guys really make me feel like I can so anything. And that nothing, even a serious vocal dysfunction, can stop me from doing the things I love to do. I'll get through this. But I don't think I could have been nearly this positive without your help.

2. On spending time at home with Seattle friends:
It's been an extremely powerful and overwhelming time, this summer. Any time I go on facebook or twitter, I see my fandom friends crying over the final red carpet Harry Potter film premiere, or stressing about packing for LeakyCon, or reblogging pictures of the trio today juxtaposed with pictures of them from the first movie - and it's all been a little too much. I mean, I am just as guilty for participating in this pre-movie, pre-conference hysteria, but I'm having a really tough time dealing with it alone. So in the past few weeks, I've been spending a lot of time with my Seattle friends.

Now, I am lucky. Even my "regular" "home" friends are fans of Harry Potter. They too have their tickets for a midnight showing and understand why I am an absolute ball of nerves right now. But they are a tad more... calm, about everything. So it's been extremely helpful to me to sort of throw myself into other things right now while everything is looming around me the closer I get to my flight departure.

Last weekend my friend Tara had us all come over to her parent's house for the 4th of July weekend, which was a total blast. We ate food until we burst, we had a WalMart adventure where we all bought matching 4th of July shirts (they had kittens on them, it was magical) and the girls even decked ourselves out in matching American Flag print bikinis. We stretched out in the sun by the lake, we played laser tag, we lit off fireworks and sat around a roaring fire once the sun went down. It was such a nice way to spend the holiday weekend. Then on the actual night of the 4th, I found myself in the 16th floor apartment of a building on the side that faces Lake Union, where Seattle's huge firework's display was. It was such an amazing view, and we didn't even have to make the horrendous trek to Gasworks park like the other thousands of people who gathered on the grass to see the show in person.

This weekend we went out of town again, which I was so thankful for. My friend Alexandra is moving to Austin, so she wanted to take one last "Washington Adventure". We piled in cars and found the smaller, finer must-sees of our state. We went to a couple museums filled with the most random things (from scary theatrical doll collections to a whole room full of various chess sets to a high-heeled shoe collection through the ages) and found an exact replica of Stonehenge. We ate in silly pubs and took in breathtaking views and stopped late in the evening in the middle of nowhere to look at the stars as we never get to see them back home in the city. It was such a relaxing, different weekend, and it really kept me distracted from all the craziness that's happening this week.

The only problem with this plan, though, is that now I leave tomorrow and I am in no way emotionally prepared for this. At least I am mostly packed. At least I have that.

3. On Harry Potter/LeakyCon/the fandom/my current emotional state:
I can't even. To date, LeakyCon 2011 will be my seventh major Harry Potter conference. That's not counting Wrockstock or any of the smaller events I've gone to like CondorCon or Hallows and Horcruxes. Many of the people I shared my very first con experience with (Phoenix Rising 2007 <3) will be there, such as Lauren, Matt, Alex, Brian, John and Bre. Not to mention every other single person I've met since then along the way. We'll be sharing our first viewing of the last film with each other, which is something we've never gotten to experience before. We'll be laughing and crying and surely making certain we make the most of every single second.

This is something I could never actually be ready for. It's hard walking into something that hasn't even happened yet, already knowing it will be too short and fearing for when it's just a fond memory on the other side. Literally every single person who's managed to touch my life in some way in the past 7 years is going to be there. Even my old fanfiction "best friend" Crystal is going to be there, which is more perfect than I can even say.

I'm so thankful I'll have Eia there to share this with me too; she's my one link at home to all this crazy stuff I've gone through. Her involvement in all of this really made me start to feel like I wasn't going through it alone. Lauren, the friend I've had the longest through Wizard Rock, Alex, the first person to ask me to go on tour with him and someone I truly consider an older brother, Brian, the first wizard rocker who really inspired me to take this from a silly hobby to something more real, Kayley, the friend I've been blessed with having near enough to take our friendship beyond the fandom, Bre, the person who inspired me to start making videos -- I could go on and on and on but there are just too many amazing people and they're all going to be there and I leave tomorrow and I can't believe it's finally here.

We're doing this, guys. We're going to Leaky. It's real for us.

Flights: 13

21 comments:

rosiannawrites said...

Aaaaaaaaaah. I really can't believe it has sneaked up on us so tremendously. See. You. Tomorrow. (or wednesday?) x

"LeakyCon 2001" actually makes me sad. Typos have never made me so nostalgic.

iLikeAcidPops said...

caaaaaaaaaan't waaaaaaait

Lindsay said...

I'm so excited to meet you, Kristina! It makes me so happy that those letters have meant so much to you and helped you stay positive. I owe a lot to you and 5AG, and I can't wait to talk to 4 of you about it in person. Ahh see you soon!

-Lindsay

Sadie said...

i'm so excited, and so emotional. your thoughts on the premiere really summed up the way i feel.

ElizabethBabb said...

I'm feeling a very similar range of emotions right now as well! I am actually quite scared of leakyCon. Like many others have said, I cannot put into words how much this whole fandom has meant to me and I am super excited to have the chance to meet you this week! I have looked up to you and all of the other wrockers for so long and to think of what it will be like when I get to see you all perform in person is something that I have been looking forward to since the night that I bought my tickets! :)

You are an inspiration to us all and i cant wait to see you at LeakyCon 2011!!! :)

Kayla (kaylaissocoollike) said...

Oh my gosh Kristina! Love your blog posts, and this on emade me emotional! <3 <3 <3 <3 Hope you have an AWESOME time at LeakyCon (wish I could be there)! xxx

Ruth E. Day said...

"This is something I could never actually be ready for. It's hard walking into something that hasn't even happened yet, already knowing it will be too short and fearing for when it's just a fond memory on the other side." This is exactly how I feel about LeakyCon...

maggiehanna said...

I really wish I was going to LeakyCon just to be able to articulate these feelings with people that I know will be feeling the same way. *sigh*

Have fun Kristina and everyone else going!

Amy said...

I hope you have a blast at leakycon! I don't get to go but will be having a small Harry Potter week by watching all the movies reading some books and making a new shirt for the midnight show! Just readin this post made me feel nervous and so excited Thursday night!

AmyK7 said...

YOU ARE MAKING ME CRY. Kristinaaaaa. I can't. I can't do this. Ahhhhhhh. You're so lucky to be going to LeakyCon! Enjoy yourself!
Aggggh. I'm Not ready. <333

seurat2 said...

I'm sure you'll get past the whole "this is going to end too soon" feeling and start enjoying the moments as they happen right away. Even if this the last big Harry Potter event it won't be the last time you'll see these people because you are part of each others lives now.

Reina said...

This just gave me chills. I cannot even say how excited I am for this conference. I'm a little late in joining the fandom since it's my first con, but through your videos, Kristina, I have found nerdfighters, other wrock bands, 5AG, Bre and everyone else. Harry Potter has always been there and now I finally get to experience the last film with people who appreciate HP as much as me. I don't know how I'll be able to thank you for your blogs, videos, and music, Kristina. You inspire me. And I'm afraid I won't be able to say that in person at Leaky.

Kayley said...

I AM LEAVING FOR THE AIRPORT IN TWO HOURS AND NOW I AM A MESS AND WHY, TINA, WHYYYY. <3333

Julia said...

You are so lucky to have friends in your town who love Harry Potter too. I haven't been able to find someone who will go to the midnight showing with me and I'm trying to deal with that. Have fun at LeakyCon and take care of your voice!!!

Brandon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brandon said...

Whoops, didn't mean to delete my first comment. Let's try this again...

I so badly wish I could go to LeakyCon. I think it's very safe to say that nothing will ever be like this again. Though there might be more LeakyCons, this is truly the end of an era. Tragically, funds are not available for that visit; law school starts soon and is just so damn expensive. Have a great time for those of us who can't be there, and have a big box of tissues standing by for the movie!

Also, enjoy singing there, and take care of those nodes. I'm still getting the hang of Tumblr so I missed the call for cards and gifts, but rest assured that good vibes are still heading your way. Feel better and have a blast! And in a few weeks I'll feel jealous again when you're at VidCon.

Melody said...

Guys, you're kind of freaking me out, acting like this fandom is all going to be over after this. Do the films really dictate *that* much of our fandom? Haven't we been insisting for *years* that it'll never be over? Don't we still have Pottermore to look forward to?

Come on. The fandom is not going away. Harry Potter is not going away. He'll never be gone; not as long as those who remain are loyal to him.

NoraCaterina said...

Awww I just finished watching DH Pt. 2 like 8 hours ago and I've never cried as much in a movie as tonight. I can't even put the whole experience into words. May you enjoy the movie despite all the changes from the book, it really is the last one. And I still can't believe it, it feels like a distant dream, definitely have to see it again. There is this awkward feeling in my chest, which I have never felt before and I have no one to share it with, to cry with, who feels the same.

I'm waiting for your blog post/youtube video with your reactions to see how you feel. Enjoy LeakyCon A LOT and make the most of this wonderful time you have! <3

Nora xXx

Elizabeth said...

Kristina, I credit you with my love of Harry Potter. I'd always been a huge fan of the books, but I first discovered the Harry Potter fandom through you. I got into wizard rock after listening to the Parselmouths, and have been living vicariously through your YouTube videos. I attended LeakyCon 2011 because I saw your videos of Harry Potter conventions and they seemed AMAZING, which it was. I've gotten some of my old friends into the fandom, and I made new friends because of it, including some people that I had known before, but hadn't actually been friends with. I'm so in love with this fandom and everyone in it, and I have you to thank. So thank you Kristina! <3

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MartinUthero said...

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